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20-06-2020, 10:27 PM
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Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Some folks just don't care about Nightingales, let them get on with it.
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20-06-2020, 10:30 PM
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Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

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21-06-2020, 09:15 PM
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Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Thankfully my missus never gives me breakfast in bed.

I never did see the joys of breakfast in bed, very awkward eating in a bed, I have to have me feet on the ground when I’m eating, drinking, or smoking, bed is strictly for sleeping and how’s yer father, certainly nothing romantic about porridge and honey rolling down your chest, although I believe there are folks who go in in for stuff like that in bed.
Incidentally I have never smoked in bed in me life.

Come to think of it I never did see the connection with food and sex, barring the two of them being essential for the continuation of life.
Can you imagine drinking champagne from a woman’s shoe after her walking around in it all evening, or licking cream from a sweaty belly that’s crawling alive with dermal bacteria?, far safer to stick to the old ways, but then it takes all sorts to make a world.

There’s another thing, this dreaded corona virus has devastated the world, and yet with all the modern technology we have at our disposal today we still had to resort to the same way they handled plagues in the middles ages—isolation and distancing, progress me arse, and everywhere you look on the news and net they give out conflicting information, believe me there are an awful lot of chancers out there cleaning up on other folks misery, unscrupulous leeches of the lowest order.

I wouldn’t worry too much about the economy recovering fairly quickly, people haven’t been spending as much as usual with the lockdown, their wallets and purses are bulging with dosh and most won’t be flying off to foreign shores in the near future so it’ll all be spent in the home country, methinks anyway.
Look on the bright side, Governments don’t hand out billions willy nilly, they know they will get it all back and it will mostly all be circulation at home creating jobs, so if this brexit thing works out for you, and I sincerely hope it does, you’ll all be on the pigs back this time next year.
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21-06-2020, 10:46 PM
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Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Not sure how many sexual positions there are, but lets guess 100, there are 7.8 billion folks on this planet some young, and some old, so lets exclude those folks, the rest think they are discovering something for the first time.
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22-06-2020, 09:58 PM
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Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Originally Posted by spitfire ->
Not sure how many sexual positions there are, but lets guess 100, there are 7.8 billion folks on this planet some young, and some old, so lets exclude those folks, the rest think they are discovering something for the first time.
And who can forget that first time eh, success for some disaster for others, shotgun weddings abounded back then.

There are those who say it’s overrated, and those who can’t get enough of it, I find those who never stop talking about sex never get any and are trying to winkle out information on how to go about it from the experiences of others.

This is a very short manual I but together to maybe help such people.

During this lesson I intend to show
Several positions you probably don’t know
The first is the Squat, from Hong Kong I hear
Where you sit on her head and tickle her ear
Next comes the Crawl, where she acts like a snail
She drops grapes on the floor and you follow the trail.
Last is the Lamp and you both dangle from the ceiling
But It’s hard to hang on, when the bums starts reeling.

There’s not much room in Hong Kong, space is at a premium I believe. I read somewhere that randy couples can hire a “Sex box” in some hotels, they measure roughly 4’x4’ and 5’ tall, agility and a good imagination can be very useful in such tiny containers.

Yes indeed, strange old world.
Bobby Darin was right, he knew what it was all about.

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23-06-2020, 10:03 AM
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Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

There’s not much room in Hong Kong, space is at a premium I believe. I read somewhere that randy couples can hire a “Sex box” in some hotels, they measure roughly 4’x4’ and 5’ tall, agility and a good imagination can be very useful in such tiny containers.

I think I remember reading about these in Psychology Today a while back. Apparently a fellow called Feng was the first recorded case of a psychological condition resulting from sexual activity (with a Lady) in a confined space, its still rare but, never the less traumatic, for the gentlemen sufferers of which one day there may be a cure for "Clitstrophobia".
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23-06-2020, 06:58 PM
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Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Oh my. You are funny.
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23-06-2020, 10:01 PM
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Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

A good one Spitty, and original as always.

Our mutual scribbler Gumbud spent a long time in Hong Kong in his younger days, so he would be very knowledgable about that part of the world, were he available he would no doubt fill us in about those boxes, square us up so to speak.


Here’s another fella who had a novel idea many years ago, he went over Niagara Falls in a big barrel while having sex with his wife who was inside it with him, you can’t see her in the photo, she’s hiding behind the barrel, very shy lady, especially where sex is concerned.

Needless to say there was public outcry then when even the mention of the word sex was looked upon as almost a crime, and the very idea of having sex outside one’s own bedroom and not within the sanctity of marriage was considered nothing less than scandalous, but he got around that by saying the barrel was his own property and the woman was his wife, besides they were inside and couldn’t be seen by the gathered public at the Falls.

There were rumours at the time that neither the wife nor himself were ever in the barrel at all as it tumbled over the Falls, they got in at the beginning of his act and by slight of hand and the cover of his assistants, they both slipped out through a cleverly disguised small trap door at the side of the barrel, then they made their way to the rescue boat and slid back in when it was hauled on deck, when he got out first she then appeared through the top of the barrel to cheers and great applause from the crowd.
Not too difficult to do with a crowd of thousands and far above them at the start and far away from them in the water with the “rescue” boat, the pair of them were excellent swimmers too, however all are well dead now and we shall never know the truth.

He is pictured here in the latest gents underwear of the time, the famous “Bronco” brand underwear, it was Bronco who sponsored the Niagara venture, and this hero chap went on to make a good living advertising mens ganseys and longjohns, pity Foxy wasn’t around then, that would be the ideal job for him with those lovely legs of his, ah well, yeh can’t have it every way.


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23-06-2020, 10:11 PM
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Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Originally Posted by Sweetie pie ->
Oh my. You are funny.
Consistent, maybe.
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25-06-2020, 09:41 PM
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Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

One good thing about this virus is that I don’t have to hug anyone any more, well the family usually hug me I never initiate the hugging. I never was a touchy feely huggy person so I don’t miss any hugs.
That’s not to say I don’t love all of them, quite the opposite, I adore them all, but it was always a kiss on the cheek for the girls and a handshake for the boys.

Strange how we can sometimes recall trifle events from many decades ago so clearly.
If I was lying on the psychiatrist’s couch and he was sending me back to my childhood he would discover that my fear of hugging is well founded and it all began when I was four years old.
One of my older cousins, Betty, who was about 16 at the time, but was big for her age and fat too, she would sometimes mind the brother and me, she was one tough bird I can tell you, to quote PG Wodehouse “If she came after you you’d climb up a tree and pull it up after you”

One Saturday evening when my parents were going to the pictures she arrived to babysit us, it seems I was her favourite and she hadn’t seen me in over a month.
When she came into the house she made a bee line for me, she opened her huge cardigan, lifted me up and wrapped it around me in a tight bear hug that lasted a good five minutes, I was gasping for breath, had it not been for a hole in her cardigan where her sweaty armpit was I would have suffocated for sure.
No more hugs after that for me, hugging can be a dangerous weapon depending on the hugger, once bitten and all that, so beware of over enthusiastic huggers.

Now if cousin Betty said to you “I’ll hold you close and never let you go” one should not take that as love talk, but rather as a threat of murder.

 

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