Re: Let's have a laugh

A crusty old Army Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.　

'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man.　 Is something bothering you?'
'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'　

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said,　 'It looks like you have seen a lot of action.'　
'Yes, ma'am, a lot of action.'　

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.　 Finally the young lady said,

'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, But when is the last time you had sex?
''1955, ma'am.'　

'Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious.　 You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955!　 She took his hand and led him to a private room Where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times.　 Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against　 his bare chest And said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955.'　
The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, After glancing at his watch, 'I Hope Not; It's Only 2130 Now.'

Re: Let's have a laugh

Trump says sending U.S. troops to Venezuela is 'an option'.

Trump adds, 'It will have to be the Navy because of all those canals.

Re: Let's have a laugh

My friend keeps saying, "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."

I know he means well.

Re: Let's have a laugh

A girl walks into a supermarket and, on her way round, she sees the bloke she had sex with
the previous evening, after they had met in a pub.
He is stacking washing powder boxes on shelves.
"You lying sod!" she yells.
"Last night you told me you were a stunt pilot!”
"No I didn’t," he says,
"I told you I was a member of the Ariel display team."

Re: Let's have a laugh

Diane Abbott goes to the hair salon. The hairdresser asks her to remove her headphones. Two minutes later Diane collapses on the floor.

As the hairdresser performs cpr, another picks up the headphones and hears "Breathe in...Breathe out"

Re: Let's have a laugh

Poor Dianne. Don't you feel sorry for her? All those people making fun of her.
















No. Me neither.

Re: Let's have a laugh

Donald Trump has announced that now he’s President he’s going to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.

Re: Let's have a laugh

I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I'll let you know!

Re: Let's have a laugh

Did you hear about the bloke who lost his left side?
He's alright now.

Re: Let's have a laugh

No what happen ?