Assertive or grumpy?

On Tuesday I asked Veronica to ring me the following Thursday to let me know if I was going to see her this weekend. (I have not seen her since October 21st) Thursday comes nothing-but I did get the answer phone twice as I tried to ring her.

Yesterday the same. I rise early(06.30 today) and am in the habit of picking up my phone just in case. And there it, was a message sent at 23.19, to say she had gone out for a drink with those from her school.

OK so I ring at 09.00 this morning,answerphone,ring at 10.00,answerphone. About half an hour later I get a call.

Hello how are you? I`m still in bed. Oh OK so are we seeing each other today? I`m not sure I might but I have things to do.

At this point I just say-OK I will ring you on Monday.

I cannot be doing with being messed around and waiting `just in case`

Re: Assertive or grumpy?

Wait and see what she says on Monday OG, if it's the same runaround then remember two can play that game the next she she want's to see you.

Re: Assertive or grumpy?

Mmmm I hesitate to comment Stephen but based on your previous posts there doesn't seem to be a 50/50 balance in this relationship too much 'give' on your side and too much 'take' on the other.

If you are happy with that fine but I would make your own plans rather than sitting around waiting for anyone .

Re: Assertive or grumpy?

I think that the two last posts have sort of given you your answer . TBH.

Re: Assertive or grumpy?

I agree with Meg, but it sounds very much as if you are used as a last resort when she doesn't have a better offer.

Re: Assertive or grumpy?

I definitely wouldn't ring her on Monday and if she rings you, say you are sorting your sock drawer.

Re: Assertive or grumpy?

OG, I hope your feelings won't be too hurt if I tell you what I, first as a girl with many brothers and then a woman with many sons, could often see quite clearly when any of them were being taken advantage of..... stop being a soft lad!

From what you say, she is clearly letting you do all the running and you should stop it right now. Don't let anyone treat you so unkindly. Start playing hard to get instead of letting her walk over you, which from your post she is clearly doing.

I obviously don't know how strongly you feel about Veronica or whether she is merely a friend, but either way, she should not treat you with the disrespect that she obviously has.
If I were you, I certainly wouldn't phone her again. I would wait until she phones you and let your own answerphone (if you have one) take her call. I certainly wouldn't phone her back immediately either!.

You sound a really kind, considerate and caring person and you don't deserve such selfish, uncaring treatment such as you have been receiving.

Hope my comments above haven't hurt your feelings OG, that is the last thing I wish to do, but sometimes seeing things from someone else's perspective may help.

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You know-I don`t think it is deliberate. What is it about maths teachers? And yes she is from another culture. I should stop speaking English and my Shona is still very basic. Must think about my cosine and quadratics.

I do like her a lot-was just sending a signal-please do not take me for granted.

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You should wait for her to get in touch with you.
If she doesn't, it's her loss not yours.

It seems to me you are too nice. She doesn't deserve you.

Re: Assertive or grumpy?

I agree with this, and what everyone else is saying too OG.
I don't want to hurt you, but it sounds to me as if she wants 'out' and doesn't know how to tell you.

I would definitely do as Longdogs here says, and do not ring on Monday. You perhaps make yourself too available.
If you don't ring, and she rings you and apologises, fair enough, but if she doesn't bother to ring you - then you have your answer. Sorry.