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11-08-2020, 03:24 PM
1701

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by longfellow ->
A Catholic priest, Baptist preacher, and a Jewish rabbi were having coffee together. Someone made the comment that preaching to people is easy; a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided each to find a bear and try preaching to it.

A week later they met again to discuss the results.

Father Flynn had his arm in a sling and various bandages about his body but said "Well, I found a bear and began to read to him from the Catechism. The bear came after me and started to slap me around. I quickly grabbed my bottle of holy water and sprinkled it on him and, Holy Mother of God, the bear became as gentle as a lamb'.

Reverend Bill spoke next. He was in a wheelchair and had an IV drip. 'Well, I also found a bear and began to read to it from the Bible, but the bear came after me. We wrestled down the hill until we came to a creek, so I quickly dunked the bear and baptised him. And, just like you said, it became as gentle as a lamb'.

The priest and the preacher both looked down at the rabbi who was in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction, with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. The rabbi looked up and said 'Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start.'
Excellent!

Noted for future use. Thank you.
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11-08-2020, 03:45 PM
1702

Re: Let's have a laugh

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11-08-2020, 08:24 PM
1703

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Richmond ->
Inflatable wife. Nice one.
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13-08-2020, 09:08 PM
1704

Re: Let's have a laugh

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" Holmes questioned.

Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you retard. It tells me that some bastard has stolen our tent!"
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17-08-2020, 08:52 PM
1705

Re: Let's have a laugh

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17-08-2020, 08:57 PM
1706

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Richmond ->
Attachment 13559


Well, she is a blonde!
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17-08-2020, 11:16 PM
1707

Re: Let's have a laugh

My ex-husband asked me if he was the only one I had been with.
I told him, "Yes, all the others were nines or tens."

We are no longer married.
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17-08-2020, 11:29 PM
1708

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Right Now ->
My ex-husband asked me if he was the only one I had been with.
I told him, "Yes, all the others were nines or tens."

We are no longer married.
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18-08-2020, 07:21 PM
1709

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by right now ->
my ex-husband asked me if he was the only one i had been with.
I told him, "yes, all the others were nines or tens."

we are no longer married.
lol!!!!
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18-08-2020, 08:31 PM
1710

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by JBR ->
An extract from a card my lovely wife gave to me.

To be perfectly honest, it does bear an element of truth.
Marge knows you too well
 
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