Sharing memories of my beloved Sister Julia
It's coming up our Julias Birthday and she's on my mind as usual. To help me through losing Julia I like to write my memories and I'm sharing some of those memories with you if you will allow me to.
Awwww, she’s a cute little baby, who is she? This is Beverley, my baby sister, Julia said proudly as she pushed the boat pram down the street.
Julia was 8 years old at the time and had bonded tightly with the newborn.
Julia loved to feed and change her little sister and as the baby grew older, Julia was fiercely protective of her. Hurt little Sister and you’d have Julia to deal with.
The bond between Julia and I became stronger as life went by and I remember when I was 8, being happy that Julia was getting married, but also silently sad, because I knew it meant she was leaving home and I was going to miss her being around.
But, I found I didn’t have to miss her, because I was always over at my Sisters house, she wasn’t going to get rid of me that easily!! Not that she wanted to!
When I was in college, Julia would take me out of college with some excuse, just because she wanted me to be with her and she would take me to her house to spend the day with her and her partner. It was naughty of Julia to do this really, as if Mummy had known she would go nuts, but we figured what Mummy didn’t know about wouldn’t hurt her, I’d much rather spend the time with my Sister than be in college, it was more fun for sure (remembering fondly these times)
As I became old enough to go out to pubs and clubs we would go clubbing together, we’d have such fun dancing the night away as we knocked back the booze.
I remember once we bought matching outfits. I bought a red pleated skirt and matching blouse, Julia bought the black pleated skirt and matching blouse and we even had matching shoes. We thought we looked the bees knees, how I wish I had photographs of us in those outfits, I do however have the photograph stored in my memory.
I would spend a lot of time at Julias house, I used to go see her almost every day and we always phoned each other at 10pm every night, if one hadn’t rang by 10pm the other would ring. Julia is still on my mind at 10pm every night, I so wish the phone would ring and I could hear her voice on the other side.
I’d go to her house and we’d have boozy nights and we’d listen to Freddie Mercury or on occasion she’d come to ours.
I will never forget the night we found out Freddie died. I was over at hers having a few ciders and we cried buckets together all night long, playing over and over, These were the Days of our Lives, we were really torturing ourselves watching that video over and over. We both loved Freddie so much. I like to think she has met Freddie up there in Heaven, awwww, I’m teary right now at remembering this night, how we consoled each other.
It has to be said, we did have our fall outs and even stopped speaking for a time but we would always come together. The love was too deep for each other not to kiss and make up.
I remember when we moved to Spain for 2 years, I missed her dreadfully and on our return to England she told me how much she had missed me.
I also remember us once going down Heckmondwike to the pubs and we came out and called at the fish shop and there was a woman who was causing trouble for us in the taxi rank, she was picking on me, but our Julia wasn’t having anyone picking on her baby sister and did nothing else but battered the lass and threw her chips on her LOL, it was mad at the time but I can laugh about it now, we often laughed about the chip saga. Aye, our Julia wasn’t one to be messed with. She would always stick up for me.
When I think about it, we were very different in one way, Julia was so strong and tough, I was always soft and quite timid but we were VERY alike in that we both had good hearts and we were kind and very caring. We were very much like our Mummy that way. Mum was such a kind, gentle and loving lady and taught me and Julia how to love and give love to each other and our children.
Julia had 3 children with her partner and I am bonded tightly with my Sisters children and I feel very, very close to them. I hope they all know how much I do love them, they almost feel like my own Children and in a way since Julia died, I feel a sense of duty and need to know they are doing ok. Maybe duty is the wrong word? Because it’s not a duty, it’s something I love doing, making sure they are ok and I just hope they all know they can turn to me whenever they may need me.
My Sisters Grandchildren mean an awful lot to me and I adore them just as she loved my Son Daniel. She was very family orientated and it could be said she was the core of our Family. I was lucky, I had Mummy and I had Julia, what Mummy couldn’t do because of mental illness for many years of her life, Julia was there and we all knew we could go to her in times of troubles and she would sort things out for us all.
Each time I go shopping to Tesco or Asda, I will my mobile to ring and Julia is on the other end telling me ‘Beverley, will you get me some Weightwatchers Margarine and Weightwatchers Coconut yoghurts.’ LOL I’m smiling right now as I can actually hear her saying it. Oh, and not forgetting the Weightwatchers bread!
Over the years we both shared a weight problem and we went to WW numerous times, but somehow we always ended up fatter! Neither of us could stick to it for long lol. Our Julia LOVED Magnum Ice Lollies and she could eat 3 or 4 in one sitting hahaha, I remember going up and she’d have evidence on her tshirt of chocolate and I’d say “you’ve been at the Magnums again haven’t you” and she’d look all sheepish hehehe. Awwww God love her.
Sadly my beloved Sister developed lung cancer and she was so, so strong, she fought so hard and my niece and I went to hospital with her for the results of her chemo and we had wonderful news that the chemo was working and the tumour had reduced by 70%..............70% ! We couldn’t believe it. She was overjoyed, we all were but sadly my niece and I were harbouring some dreadful news that our Mother had died the previous night suddenly, totally unexpected.
It was so, so hard for us to have to tell our Julia that devastating news just when we had been given some fantastic news of our Julias tumour shrinking.
Julia just looked bewildered and we could tell she just couldn’t register what we had just told her as like us, she found it hard to believe too.
We held Mummys funeral and had the Wake in our local Cricket Club where there were lots of sandwiches, amongst which was fat and bread (Daddy loved that) and lots of goodies and she ordered me to go get Daddy some to take home before all the food went LOL.
3 weeks after Mummy died, Julia closed her eyes for the last time, died suddenly and totally unexpected.
It’s been over 5 years now since she passed away and we all have huge gaping holes in our hearts. We all are getting on with our lives, we are all still grieving her in our own ways but our lives never has been and never will be the same without her.
We will miss her forever and a day. I am glad we have each other, Julia will like that.
I struggle with my grief and it doesn't ever get any easier and I cry often for her, but somehow life goes on.
Julia, thank you for loving us, you enriched our lives.
Love always
Little Blister Bev
(She was Big Blister I was Little Blister)
I hope you enjoyed my memories and of getting to 'know' our Julia. I know you would have all loved her. She was unique.
Thank you for reading and listening. x