Re: Jokes for blokes
The difference between fathers of today and yesterday
In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived.
Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe and make sure film is in the video camera.
In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.
Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle.
In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business,
Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from university long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set up the DVD recorder.
In 1900, a father smoked a pipe.
Today, if he tries that, he gets sent outside after a lecture on lip cancer.
In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the supper table.
Today, a father comes home to a note, 'Oscar's at football, Olivia's at gymnastics, I'm at aerobics, pizza in fridge.'
In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations whilst fishing in a stream.
Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons' ears and shout, 'WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE...'
In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all smiles.
Today, a father spends £500 at Toys 'R' Us, and the kid screams, 'I wanted an Xbox!'
In 1900, a happy meal was when Father shared funny stories around the table.
Today, a Happy Meal is what Dad buys at MacDonald's.
In 1900, when fathers entered the room, children stood to attention.
Today, kids glance up and grunt, 'Dad, you're in the way of the TV.'
In 1900, fathers threatened their daughters' boyfriends with shotguns if the girl came home late.
Today, fathers break the ice by saying, 'So... how long have you had that earring?'