Re: I'd like to see you....
Originally Posted by
AnnieS
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I've said things on here about people I know. Because I'm not identified I can say what I think. I would not speak my mind if I were identifiable. We are too relaxed about sharing our identity in a world that is hungry for just that.
I completely understand what you are saying Annie.
One of the joys of posting incognito is that you can post about problems you might be having with family or friends without any backlash. It’s far safer and Is more respectful being incognito. You don’t have to feel any shame or guilt about feeling disloyal.Some people sign up to talk about serious stuff
Originally Posted by
Floydy
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But people may find you more honest and talk to you more freely if you were more personable, Annie?
I see people with photos of strange mathematical diagrams as their avatar and think to myself "I could never trust this person, he's not genuine".
It's only your face, so why on earth not let's see it?
Yes other members here might view Annie as more honest and believable posting such vulnerable stuff but the people she’s posting about might not. When I first started posting on these senior forums I stayed incognito and I posted about serious parental abuse and living in a dysfunctional family. Since these parents are in their last stages of life I needed to ask whether helping them at this point would be a good idea. It was some really tough stuff to talk about and nobody needed to feel any shame or guilt. Once I added pictures of myself , people knew who I was and anyone connected to the situation might not be too happy about it even if it’s all truthful.
Originally Posted by
Lorna
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Not too sure bout that Judd,
I reckon people who dont show a pic are much more confident
to be bolder in what they say or reply than those who show their face who may he more polite & reserved.
I agree completely. They have the freedom to do so.
Originally Posted by
Floydy
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I've read all the replies Ruthio. Which one? The one about stealing your face for a passport?
Quite honestly, that's being a little too paranoid. It's only a little square on an over 50s forum. Nobody out there gives a hoot about what we look like. We're not the FBI or anything.
You probably feel this way because you are a big tough man who doesn’t worry too much about being attacked in real life.
You probably have never been raped or felt the need to share any dangerously personal stories so can’t possibly relate to any reasoning that differs from your perspective.
You have no such fears to worry about and it must be so liberating. One of the greatest privileges of these forums is the ability to share painful experiences or difficult decisions that need making with others and get helpful feedback. When I shared I did.
Sharing painful freightening experiences can be an important form of therapy and closure for some.
Originally Posted by
ruthio
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There were other points too!
I think you just have to accept that it's up to each individual to tell their stories, or describe their personal details, their ailments, their love-lives, or put photos up, or not.
It's not what we might want, it's what each person is comfortable with. Innit?
EXACTLY! Some members might want to discuss the sister in law who snubs them every chance they can or the husband who is having an affair with the neighbour. ( not my situation personally ) . Adding a photo makes it much more complicated.
Originally Posted by
Floydy
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But it's only an avatar, your face!! You're not giving away your bank details, house and grandkids! It's nothing. Get real you guys.
It’s not only an avatar, our face. It’s about safety and security and to be honest Floydy I don’t understand why you don’t get this and you aren’t a stupid man. You’re smart. I still think the main reason is that you are a big guy who hasn’t had too many horrific experiences in your life that you’ve discussed online which you need to worry about so can’t possibly relate.
Originally Posted by
AnnieS
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Most of us are but you can decide whether 1000s of "guests" can see your posts there.
Originally Posted by
AnnieS
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That's not an option here.
Facebook is completely different. I’m not on Facebook so had no idea how it worked but do now.
Originally Posted by
carol
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No I know Annie but it doesn't worry me. I never say anything on here that I wouldn't want strangers to see, so no worries on my part.
And THIS RIGHT here is why you aren’t worried. You haven’t shared anything you need to worry about.
Originally Posted by
Floydy
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I'm really at a loss as to why you people are so bloody frightened of taking a photo of yourselves?! You paranoid individuals. What on earth is wrong with you all? Are you really that brainwashed that you think your identity will be stolen?
Yes you really ARE at a loss Floydy and I hope you do understand the reason why others feel the need to consider their safety first.
Originally Posted by
Floydy
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Yes of course I have read all of the posts, Annie. It's people like you that just do not see reason. I'm banging my head against a brick wall trying to educate you that a photo of yourself on this forum will not infiltrate your lifestyle or steal your worldly belongings but you cannot grasp the situation.
Where is your common sense?!!
Originally Posted by
Floydy
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Yes I Know, Ruthio (and I apologise
Annie ) but people cannot just see simple reason can they? It's NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT IS IT?!
God give me strength!!
I'm off to bed just to get away for a while
Sleep on it folks - you know it makes sense!
Originally Posted by
Floydy
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The Mods are up late tonight lol!
Post gone already. Oh deary deary me!
In reading your posts I’ve never quite seen you lose it on something so relatively important as people’s safety and sense of comfort. No amount of sleep would suddenly make me understand your point of view and frankly I’m not sure why you’ve gotten so explosive in your responses.
Pushing your point of view most certainly isn’t going to change anyone’s mind. The content of what people post will always be FAR more important than what they look like and thank goodness for that.