for ammunition...
23-06-2014, 01:01 PM
13
Re: Mrs. Angry
Bless you both Mups ,i know where you are coming from ,it really takes it out of you having the responsibility of your parent,you sound at the end of your tether. And after 7 years i would be too .perhaps you could ask for some respite care while you have a rest ,you say your mum is terminally ill ,im not an authority on such matters but i believe she could go in an Hospice for a week or two ,why not talk to your mum about it .
23-06-2014, 01:12 PM
14
Re: Mrs. Angry
Sad story to read. I just wondered if the mismanagement also happened because of a change over of staff. Don't they finish at 6 or 7pm for the newstaff coming to start work?
Think that could make a difference. Hope it resolves itself for you soon
Mups. Try and have some ME time.
23-06-2014, 01:28 PM
15
Re: Mrs. Angry
Originally Posted by Eliza
->
Bless you both Mups ,i know where you are coming from ,it really takes it out of you having the responsibility of your parent,you sound at the end of your tether. And after 7 years i would be too .perhaps you could ask for some respite care while you have a rest ,you say your mum is terminally ill ,im not an authority on such matters but i believe she could go in an Hospice for a week or two ,why not talk to your mum about it .
You're right Eliza, the McMillan nurse has already offered her that choice, but Mum refused. I found a pleasant care home recently that could deal with end of life care, but that was refused too. It's a pity because she would have had nurses there 24/7 if anything happened, and it was only nearby, they said I could even go and have dinner with her if she wanted, but she wouldn't even let me take her for a look around before making a decision.
As well as continual battles with the NHS, it don't does't make caring for someone any easier when they refuse everything that's offered. She refuses the palliative care that would help her, then panics when she feels worse.
I've organised some lovely carers who visit her 4 times a day, but they can only do so much. That still leaves so many jobs I need to do like laundry, banking, shopping, errands, gardening, dealing with doctors/nurses/specialists etc etc. without any support from family whatsoever, and I also still have my own tasks plus 4 dogs to see to as well! Many a time I would be grateful just to be able to have family to bounce ideas off or help me make important decisions about Mum's care, or even make ME a cup of tea for a change, but it aint gonna happen!
23-06-2014, 02:17 PM
16
Re: Mrs. Angry
Really sorry to read about all this Mups.It makes me feel a bit guilty rabbiting on about a hip operation but then I thought - What help has anyone in the hospital offered me either?
Perhaps there was a reason with us but for starters perhaps then we'd have known the swelling my wife suddenly got on her hand was what they term "normal" whereas we were s**t-scared it was a blood clot!
My wife's told me that they told her that I would be fully informed and advised about how to handle the recuperation and caring but it didn't happen - they just didn't do that.
Is it yet again another example of how us older people are regarded as far too demanding of the NHS and the medical fraternity in general I wonder?
I do understand the dilemma with elderly parents though Mups.
My MIL moans all the time about everything to do with her failing health but she did nothing to help herself when she first started having problems and ignored the advice of doctors!
When she had the opportunity for someone to come in for an hour a day free she didn't want that either, despite the fact that her nearest family member to her is a 40 minute motorway drive away!
I'm sorry that you have no real support Mups.
Makes it that much harder I think. stevmk2
23-06-2014, 03:28 PM
17
Re: Mrs. Angry
Originally Posted by Mups
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3. She went in for a transfusion and they did a transfusion, so I guess to them, it was job done!
Very bad that she was discharged with canulas in situ.
23-06-2014, 10:54 PM
19
Re: Mrs. Angry
Originally Posted by stevmk2
->
Really sorry to read about all this Mups.It makes me feel a bit guilty rabbiting on about a hip operation but then I thought - What help has anyone in the hospital offered me either?
Perhaps there was a reason with us but for starters perhaps then we'd have known the swelling my wife suddenly got on her hand was what they term "normal" whereas we were s**t-scared it was a blood clot!
My wife's told me that they told her that I would be fully informed and advised about how to handle the recuperation and caring but it didn't happen - they just didn't do that.
Is it yet again another example of how us older people are regarded as far too demanding of the NHS and the medical fraternity in general I wonder?
I do understand the dilemma with elderly parents though Mups.
My MIL moans all the time about everything to do with her failing health but she did nothing to help herself when she first started having problems and ignored the advice of doctors!
When she had the opportunity for someone to come in for an hour a day free she didn't want that either, despite the fact that her nearest family member to her is a 40 minute motorway drive away!
I'm sorry that you have no real support Mups.
Makes it that much harder I think. stevmk2
Steve, that was a very kind reply, I do appreciate it. Mum can be so difficult to look after sometimes, I think she was born with the gift of stubbornness, but I do love her and will miss her terribly when she goes. Having said that, she does frequently make things much harder than they need be, and has me running about meeting myself coming back if I'm not careful.
What bugs me as well, is my brother has never lifted a finger to help Mum, not even when Dad died 17 years ago, he's always buggered off and left it to me, yet he is always the blue-eyed boy when he puts in a rare appearance, and sometimes that hurts.
Anyway, I've cheered up again now, things have been better today, the sun has been shining and I've got some of my own jobs done too, so I'd better stop whinging. Thanks once again though, and I really hope your wife gets on well.
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