Should we expect loyalty

My friend recently had a huge fall out with her Mother where the Mother saying some unforgivable things. My friends son was present when the argument took place and on leaving the house the son told his grandma she was totally out of order and that she owed his mum an apology. I remember my friend ringing me in floods of tears because of the vicious things her mother had said. Unfortunately my friend has always been the black sheep of the family her two half sisters always being favoured and has always done all she can to please her mother but it's never enough.
Today her son went to visit his grandma as if nothing is wrong and my friend feels very betrayed by her son. Her husband is upset with their son too as he believes his loyalty should lie with his mother seeing the Grandma was very aggressive and nasty and feels his wife deserves an apology which she is refusing to give.
Do you think the son is wrong going to visit his grandma knowing how devastated his mother was and still is?

Re: Should we expect loyalty

Why should you support someone you believe is in the wrong, even if they are family? I certainly wouldn't.

Re: Should we expect loyalty

My thoughts too but I wanted to run it by others to see their perspective of it. I'm so upset for my friend, she's already been very hurt by her Mother and now she's feeling so hurt by her sons actions too.

Re: Should we expect loyalty

I wouldn't expect my kids to support me if they thought I was in the wrong.

Re: Should we expect loyalty

but he doesn't think his mother is in the wrong? He told his Gran she was in the wrong and should apologise which she wont.

Re: Should we expect loyalty

Yes I get that, I was just speaking generally.

Re: Should we expect loyalty

Ok, I thought you misunderstood what I said.

Re: Should we expect loyalty

Time to have a chat with her son!

If he is trying to keep the family in contact then that might be a good thing?

Re: Should we expect loyalty

LQ, do you know how the conversation went with the Grandson when he visited his Gran?
You said the lad thought his Nan was in the wrong, so I am wondering if, after seeing his Mother so upset, he actually went along to visit and try and get to the bottom of it all, and hoping to make Gran understand how she had hurt his mother. Is that possible?

Just because he visited, doesn't mean he didn't intend to do his bit to smooth things over.

Trouble is, if you don't mind me saying, when we are deeply hurt by something or someone, we sometimes only see other people's 'actions', and not their 'motive' as well.

Re: Should we expect loyalty

Yes agree Mups

And I think if I was the mother
I wouldn't want my son to not see his family over a fall out between two other members