Bricks I dropped

Bricks I dropped


Friends have sometimes described me as quick witted and clever with words. Of course what some of them meant was smart arse ..Sticks and stones…..then again a little more cerebral activity before opening my mouth would be helpful occasionally.
Life compensates and on countless other times silly arse now seems more appropriate, rather like the time when I was a junior sales in Debenhams I had been told never to utter the
Immortal phrase…
“Can I help you?” We were encouraged to be more inventive. I do not know what came over me, but I distinctly heard myself say, very loudly one day to a very respectable woman.
“Oh I see you are helping yourself”
Transferring me to soft furnishings didn’t improve my bedside manner. It was not long before a dear woman asked me what a quarter of a yard (meter) looked like. She was trying to save on her curtain hems.
“Well” I said, boldly gathering up the required material between my thumbs and nonchalantly continuing,
“I’m holding 9 inches for you to look at and decide whether you want it”
.I didn’t go pink Until after she had Gone. Another dear woman wanted to buy some baize or felt to recover her bridge table. She deserved a more considered reply than my directions to her to,
“Get felt on the haberdashery section”
The typewriter section seemed safe, apart from the sub teen scallywags who typed rude worlds, on the sample paper left in the Olivetti Letter 32, when I was not looking. How could I have not seen confusion coming when I offered a Gallic couple an Italian typewriter in their mother tongue, i.e., complete with French letters on it. I just did not think. Fortunately I was spared the delicatessen For I would surely have offered A free sample of a
“Tongue in cider”
To some hapless titled lady.

What was I going to say about being a smart arise?


Oh yes I hope those days are behind me.

Re: Bricks I dropped

Love it Young Robert.
Gave me a smile. X

Re: Bricks I dropped

I laughed over that too. Reminds me of when I worked at a department store, in china firstly, but I was so accident prone they moved me to Hardware, I couldn't break anything there.

Re: Bricks I dropped

I bet I could Tiff.
I am accident prone.

Re: Bricks I dropped

I must be the only person with a Denby dinner set that has chips on the plates & that is very tough to chip.
I do replace them when they all get chipped.

Re: Bricks I dropped

Very funny Robert, I enjoyed that.

Once in John Lewis in Oxford street, we were looking for window blinds. I saw this woman rolling out material on a counter and using a tape measure so decided to ask her where the blinds were in the shop. She looked up from her measuring and in the poshest accent remarked 'Do I look like a shop girl?'

I just looked her up and down a bit and said .... 'Well, yes!.'

Re: Bricks I dropped

I was working in a jewellers , a lady was asking me how was a pearl made as she held a real pearl necklace I started to tell her in a simplistic way , as I did my words all came out wrong it went something like this

A piece of grit inside the oyster causes irritation and the oyster tries to stop the irritation and covers the grit in excrement and this eventually builds up and becomes a pearl.

Not what I meant to say , and overheard by my boss who came to my rescue , luckily she bought the pearl necklace and saw the funny side . ( though as I'm writing this and reliving the moment it's not as funny as when it happened )

Re: Bricks I dropped

Thanks for a badly needed giggle RJ.
Quote. “Oh yes I hope those days are behind me” and may that be all that’ll be behind you RJ, there can be more dangerous things than days behind you I fear, especially in these days of anything goes.

Re: Bricks I dropped

“Get felt on the haberdashery section”

you old scallywag.

Re: Bricks I dropped

it is quite TRUE.

Not so much of the OLD my friend d00d.