Should we forgive

They say that we should always forgive but I feel sometimes things hurt so deep that it is very hard to forgive.

If someone did something to you that hurt you deeply would you forgive and let them back into your life?

Forgiving is something we do for ourselves rather than the person who wronged us but would you find it easy to forgive or are you a person who feels bitter.

Does being bitter really eat us up and stop us from moving on or is it possible to live with that bitterness.

Re: Should we forgive

Always forgive family, anyone else no.

Re: Should we forgive

Having been there it's from personal experience that I can say that if someone hurts you that badly and the result is deep emotional hurt, then if you don't forgive you are allowing that person to continue to hurt you, they are still controlling your emotions in that way. Hurt can also turn to anger but forgiving can prevent that from happening.

Forgiveness is not condoning the actions of whoever caused you to feel deeply hurt, it is more that it will free you from negative thoughts of bitterness and maybe later, anger.

I never used to understand forgiveness until I experienced what it was like to be unable to forgive easily. When I learned what it actually was I found a different way of life if you like. In no way is this religious as I am not but it was like a release from some really bad place and equally bad thoughts, allowing it to be far easier to deal with emotional feelings.

Around this time I also found out 'how we tick', that made me realise what happens to a person who doesn't forgive. It's all in how our minds and emotions work with each other. Something else I found out about was how not reacting negatively in any given situation prevents the other person from having control of you, they are powerless without that expected reaction. If you have ever tried to argue with a person who will not argue then you will know exactly what I mean.

Re: Should we forgive

What if the perpetrators are long gone?

Re: Should we forgive

They may be long gone but the emotions and therefore the hurt you experience remain, they are yours. If you do not forgive and still hold that bitterness it will remain a totally negative emotion within you, preventing you moving on with your life.

Re: Should we forgive

depends on what- how much - and who to. Like most things there are degrees of forgiving or not whatever the situation might have been that caused it

Re: Should we forgive

Some folks spend a life time trying other folks shoes on, other folks just go 50/50.

Re: Should we forgive

And some zero, of course.

Re: Should we forgive

Forget is maybe a better option.

Re: Should we forgive

That may be possible in some cases, the emotion of being hurt will probably remain for a long time though, even if you can forget. In other cases where there is a constant reminder of what happened, forgetting is not an option and forgiveness is the only way.