Banned from the Co-op

Yesterday I was at my local Co-op buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet I was queuing to pay for it at the checkout when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog!
What did she think I had an Elephant!!!
Since I am retired and have little to do on impulse I said "NO I didn't have a dog"I was starting the Purina diet again I added I shouldn't really as the last time I did it I ended up in Hospital but I did lose 2 stone before I woke up in Intensive care with tubes coming out of every orifice and IV's in each arm..
I told her it was essentially a good diet as how it works is you fill your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry... The food is nutritionally complete so it worked well so I was going to try it again...
(I have to say that by this time I had the complete attention of the whole queue)
Anyway the woman horrified asked me if I had ended up in Intensive care because the food had poisoned me I said Oh no I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setters bum and a car hit us both...
Well I thought the man behind her was going to have an Heart attack he was laughing so much...
Well I am now banned from the Co-op...
So watch out for retired folk as they have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say !!!!!!

Re: Banned from the Co-op

Oh I love that!!!