Long Lost Love
Oh Dear! I was just sitting here having a cuppa before going out, I thinking back to my Fortieth Birthday (30 years ago!)
When I was fifteen, I was madly in love with a fifteen-year- old Junior Leader (trainee future NCO's and Army Officers) who was stationed at the local Army base.
He was the most handsome boy, fancied by every other girl, but he was mine for the whole 2.1/2 years he was stationed here.
You know what it was like at that age. My parents liked him, even my six brothers gave him the seal of approval. But, as much as we swore our undying love for each other when he was finally leaving, once he had actually left, the letters got less and less, and life moved on.
I often used to think of him throughout the years, especially when commuting,
Our initials were carved on the wall in the old waiting room at our little local railway station, (still there today, even though the waiting room has been locked up for years), also on the huge oak tree in our local park, the heart and initials are still visible, (just).
He was after all, my first true love. I would think of his sense of humour, his gorgeous blonde hair, his handsome face and wonder what if......
Anyhow, I was running a pub with He Who Must Obey and it was my fortieth Birthday. We were having a party after closing time. Just before closing, an ex-Junior Leader who was a pal of my young love all those years ago and had married and settled here, walked up to the bar with his wife, smiled, and said Hi, "Guess who is with us? he's just parking the car". Yep, my long-ago first love!! OMG! after all these years, we were finally going to see each other again.
I quickly excused myself and raced to the ladies to put fresh lipstick on and fluff up my hair. I looked in the mirror and thought.. "You'll do, eat your heart out because I belong to someone else", and returned to the bar, convinced he would not have changed, would be as handsome as I remembered him, that we would look into each other's eyes and remember.
Well, they say Disappointment comes in a huge dollop!
When I saw him I had to stop myself from standing there with my mouth open. This weedy, skinny fella walked in with his wife (who looked like an ex Goth). He still had blonde hair, but it was longer than mine! right down his back. I don't mean to be unkind, but he looked like someone I wouldn't give a second glance if having to choose someone.
I didn't even care what he thought when he saw me, I was so bitterly disappointed, my vision of lost love completely destroyed, never again to dream about on the odd occasion, no more poignant thoughts of our hearts and initials. All ruined forever.
All I could manage to mutter was "Hi, how are you", serve them their drinks, pretend to be busy and escape as quickly as I could upstairs so I wouldn't have to see him again.
I do wish people wouldn't destroy one's dreams like that.
I wish I could have kept him in a box and never ever seen him again. It was so unfair.
Have you ever been totally disappointed (or happy even) at meeting up again with a long lost love from the past?