Join for free
Page 3 of 5 < 1 2 3 4 5 >
spitfire
Chatterbox
spitfire is offline
Warwickshire
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 29,878
spitfire is male  spitfire has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
30-07-2019, 06:57 AM
21

Re: Should we forgive

But,,,,,,,,,some folks digressions, may have had a possible long term positive effect, in an outcome, so, they may in retrospect require thanking, not forgiving.
Muddy's Avatar
Muddy
Chatterbox
Muddy is offline
UK
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 31,286
Muddy is female  Muddy has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
30-07-2019, 07:13 AM
22

Re: Should we forgive

Depends on the severity of the offence .
If it's trivial it's easy to forgive.
If it's heinous it's not and why on earth should it be?
We are human beings not saints .
Baz46's Avatar
Baz46
Senior Member
Baz46 is offline
Somewhere rural 'out in the sticks', UK
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,916
Baz46 is male  Baz46 has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
30-07-2019, 07:13 AM
23

Re: Should we forgive

Originally Posted by spitfire ->
It is all about yourself, a proper shithole would not care if you forgave them, or not.
Yes, you are quite correct in part of what you say. The last part of your sentence about not caring if you forgave them or not doesn't really come into forgiveness, that is actually nothing to do with the person who transgressed. Forgiveness I believe is for the benefit of the person forgiving, it is to allow them to move on without the harmful bitterness or anger resulting from that transgression.

Both bitterness and anger can often be the resulting negative emotions of being hurt emotionally, be that deeply hurt or less so. It's that negativity that does so much harm internally so far better to forgive, however, that doesn't mean we have to forget.
spitfire
Chatterbox
spitfire is offline
Warwickshire
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 29,878
spitfire is male  spitfire has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
30-07-2019, 07:18 AM
24

Re: Should we forgive

Sanctioning forgiveness always seemed a bit of a cop out.
Muddy's Avatar
Muddy
Chatterbox
Muddy is offline
UK
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 31,286
Muddy is female  Muddy has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
30-07-2019, 07:24 AM
25

Re: Should we forgive

Depends on the cops I supose .
If they raid the home of your elderly parents home on the word of a fantasist causing them great distress I expect its quite difficult to forgive .

What so great about forgiveness anyway ?
Yes we all know it makes you a better person ( it doesn't )
It's the Christian thing to do .
( look where it got Christ )

It's bad enough someone has done you wrong without being expected to forgive the b*****ds too !
Baz46's Avatar
Baz46
Senior Member
Baz46 is offline
Somewhere rural 'out in the sticks', UK
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,916
Baz46 is male  Baz46 has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
30-07-2019, 07:38 AM
26

Re: Should we forgive

Originally Posted by spitfire ->
But,,,,,,,,,some folks digressions, may have had a possible long term positive effect, in an outcome, so, they may in retrospect require thanking, not forgiving.
That is possible in the long term, the negative emotions though will start from the time of the transgression, in the longer term whatever happened may have positive outcome as you write and good if it does. In the meantime harbouring the original emotions though will not do a person any good at all, in fact bitterness, anger and hate it is reckoned are very damaging both emotionally and mentally.

Originally Posted by spitfire ->
Sanctioning forgiveness always seemed a bit of a cop out.
I used to think like that after being brought up that if someone 'crossed you' then that was it. You had nothing to do with that person, you didn't speak to them or anything. My maternal grandmother used to speak of someone like that as if she had cast a wicked spell on them! That's fine as it does put them out of your life but if they have done something that has hurt you emotionally then that hurt does not necessarily disappear just because you have taken that course of action, it can remain and cause serious problems. Should that happen you then have far more deep-rooted and harmful problems to deal with which can be even more difficult than forgiveness.
Muddy's Avatar
Muddy
Chatterbox
Muddy is offline
UK
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 31,286
Muddy is female  Muddy has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
30-07-2019, 07:46 AM
27

Re: Should we forgive

If someone has hurt you it's best to put them out of your life .
Who wants unpleasant people in their life ?
spitfire
Chatterbox
spitfire is offline
Warwickshire
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 29,878
spitfire is male  spitfire has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
30-07-2019, 07:48 AM
28

Re: Should we forgive

You may need a couple, just for balance.
Muddy's Avatar
Muddy
Chatterbox
Muddy is offline
UK
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 31,286
Muddy is female  Muddy has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
30-07-2019, 07:49 AM
29

Re: Should we forgive

Only if you are a sucker for punishment .
Baz46's Avatar
Baz46
Senior Member
Baz46 is offline
Somewhere rural 'out in the sticks', UK
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,916
Baz46 is male  Baz46 has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
30-07-2019, 07:54 AM
30

Re: Should we forgive

Originally Posted by Muddy ->
If someone has hurt you it's best to put them out of your life .
Who wants unpleasant people in their life ?
Too true, everybody can do without people like that. However, putting them out of your life does not, in my opinion, rid yourself of the negative emotions you may experience as a result of whatever it was they did, they can remain. Much of this is I believe dependent on the mindset of the person who has been offended, even the hardest of people have emotions though and it's those that can cause a person considerable problems. Admittedly there are those who just sail through life causing others lots of untold problems but nobody knows what goes on inside their minds or how that may later affect their own emotional state. We all have to live with our consciences be they good, not so good or completely bad.
 
Page 3 of 5 < 1 2 3 4 5 >

Thread Tools


© Copyright 2009, Over50sForum   Contact Us | Over 50s Forum! | Archive | Privacy Statement | Terms of Use | Top

Powered by vBulletin Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.