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tarantula
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19-08-2019, 02:37 PM
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Personality not looks

Surely it is personality which should count, not looks when forming a relationship? It is beyond my understanding that many women tart themselves up to attract a guy just because he is what they consider good looking, not taking into consideration whether he is a decent sort of person. No wonder so many relationship bite the dust very quickly when reality imposes itself.

A lot of lads tried to come on to me when I was young without any encouragement on my part. I dislike wearing make up or 'pretty' clothes, and have always dressed to please myself not the male of the species. Even when I met my husband I made no effort to attract him, he either liked me for who I am, or not. Apparently he did find the person I am to his liking and although we aren't lovey dovey or romantic we have stuck it out all these years, it obviously worked for us.
Julie1962
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19-08-2019, 02:43 PM
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Re: Personality not looks

Surely it has to be a bit of both to begin with ? If I hadn't felt physically attracted to my husband and wanted to be with him I doubt I'd want to be married to him. Physical attraction is important in a marriage. That doesn't mean you have to be a beauty as people are attractive for all sorts of reasons. My husband always says he fell into my eyes they were so beautiful to him and I know his beautiful blue eyes certainly attracted me and he smelled wonderful. We aren't classically beautiful but we have our moments.
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Artangel
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19-08-2019, 02:44 PM
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Re: Personality not looks

I am not keen on pretty men. I prefer brains and brawn.
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19-08-2019, 02:47 PM
4

Re: Personality not looks

How do you know someone has a nice personality unless you know them?
Something has to attract you to them so that you do get to know them .
And that something is usually physical .
( unless you are extremely rich then its your bank statement )
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19-08-2019, 02:48 PM
5

Re: Personality not looks

Tara maybe in some instances a certain amount of 'looks' is required to get to the stage of exploring the personality.

Speaking for myself, neither looks or personality influenced my choice in men, a couple of them seemed to possess some kind of magnetic attraction over which I seemed to have little control and that included my husband .
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19-08-2019, 02:49 PM
6

Re: Personality not looks

Originally Posted by Julie1962 ->
Surely it has to be a bit of both to begin with ? If I hadn't felt physically attracted to my husband and wanted to be with him I doubt I'd want to be married to him. Physical attraction is important in a marriage. That doesn't mean you have to be a beauty as people are attractive for all sorts of reasons. My husband always says he fell into my eyes they were so beautiful to him and I know his beautiful blue eyes certainly attracted me and he smelled wonderful. We aren't classically beautiful but we have our moments.
I absolutely agree with you, Julie!
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19-08-2019, 03:02 PM
7

Re: Personality not looks

Relationships have to have that ‘spark’. When the spark is gone, it all goes downhill fast!
tarantula
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19-08-2019, 03:21 PM
8

Re: Personality not looks

Originally Posted by Muddy ->
How do you know someone has a nice personality unless you know them?
Something has to attract you to them so that you do get to know them .
And that something is usually physical .
( unless you are extremely rich then its your bank statement )
As I have said many times my husband was so different to the other lads I had met, because in all probability he has Asperger's syndrome, which is why I showed an interest in him, when we first met. I never considered his looks. He was interested in me because my lifestyle was very different to his own. We rarely saw each other in person as he lived in the UK and started university there just after we first met. We communicated by phone calls and letters. We only saw each other during holiday times. When we married he worked very hard gaining promotion after promotion and I was in charge of looking after the home and rearing the children.
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19-08-2019, 03:30 PM
9

Re: Personality not looks

There are certain tools required early on in the mating game, as some folks get older, they find it hard to close the toolbox.
tarantula
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19-08-2019, 03:34 PM
10

Re: Personality not looks

Originally Posted by spitfire ->
There are certain tools required early on in the mating game, as some folks get older, they find it hard to close the toolbox.
What tools?
 
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