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20-01-2021, 01:29 AM
21

Re: Do You Think You Can Change People?

Originally Posted by keezoy ->
Maybe I can add another perspective depending on what is meant by change. I don't think you can "change" people per se. That is I don't think you can change a person's personality once it's been formed. To do so would be like trying to unscramble an egg. You can grind a concrete block into powder but it won't set as concrete again once you add water. (I don't think) But I certainly think you can change a person's behaviour. YOu can expose them to ways of dealing with life problems that are effective and positive rather than destructive and harmful and give them skills to achieve this. One label this process has been given is Cognitive Behavioural THerapy. It is short term. It has a high success rate and it absolutely changes people.
Keezoy, lsn’t that just brainwashing?
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20-01-2021, 01:45 AM
22

Re: Do You Think You Can Change People?

Originally Posted by Artangel ->
Keezoy, lsn’t that just brainwashing?
IF your question is serious and not rhetorical, no it is not brainwashing. When you are manipulating an individual in ways that involve coercion and threats; when you are giving them only one path to follow in the way they view the world and denying any alternatives; when you are not taking into account the welfare, dignity or mental health of an individual; when you are "telling" and "Lecturing" rather than listening and understanding. That may be brainwashing. CBT is an educative process that involves free will and self discovery. Some programs are mandatory but CBT is never imposed on people. Even if they are criminals. IT is an optional treatment offered before incarceration. IT was in my experience at least. YOur choice of course but I would suggest you do some reading on CBT. IT is a very common therapeutic approach. IN fact it is THE most common approach to psychological treatment used by psychologists and therapists in the world today. It has it's limitations of course. PLease read my edit added since you read my last post.
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20-01-2021, 07:03 AM
23

Re: Do You Think You Can Change People?

I think your core personality is who you are and it's rare that you can alter that. It's deeply ingrained. Of course, if you mean habits you may dislike, then I guess you can try and control those for the sake of someone else.
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20-01-2021, 08:04 AM
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Re: Do You Think You Can Change People?

If you can think how difficult it must be for another Human Being to put up with you, then, putting up with someone else, warts and all becomes easier.
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20-01-2021, 08:06 AM
25

Re: Do You Think You Can Change People?

Everybody always wants to fix everyone else, "Clarity begins at Home".
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20-01-2021, 08:49 AM
26

Re: Do You Think You Can Change People?

I've changed over the years.....I've become wiser. Laughing here....as if

Can you change someone? Maybe.... but it wouldn't be real they might pretent to change to please you but the real person is still there.....lurking
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20-01-2021, 09:15 AM
27

Re: Do You Think You Can Change People?

One has to surmise behind the eyes (and keys) of many sturdy people lurks a lurker.
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20-01-2021, 08:45 PM
28

Re: Do You Think You Can Change People?

Originally Posted by Baz46 ->
Quite simple, if you don't like what you found and it's too bad to live with, you dump them!
That’s exactly what I did but it’s not a pleasant experience
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20-01-2021, 08:46 PM
29

Re: Do You Think You Can Change People?

Originally Posted by pauline3 ->
I would imagine, you would feel, “ terribly let down”....another layer of protection added, to the, already protected human wall.
That’s deep
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20-01-2021, 08:49 PM
30

Re: Do You Think You Can Change People?

Originally Posted by keezoy ->
Maybe I can add another perspective depending on what is meant by change. I don't think you can "change" people per se. That is I don't think you can change a person's personality or basic character once it's been formed. To do so would be like trying to unscramble an egg. You can grind a concrete block into powder but it won't set as concrete again once you add water. (I don't think) But I certainly think you can change a person's behaviour. YOu can expose them to ways of dealing with life problems that are effective and positive rather than destructive and harmful and give them skills to achieve this. One label this process has been given is Cognitive Behavioural THerapy. It is short term. It has a high success rate and it absolutely changes people. EXample: some people are violent. A percentage of these may be violent because they simply enjoy hurting people or are sadists or brutal bullies. They don't want to change and won't. So their place is in the justice system and then prison. THey may or may not change there. Who cares!.. Others are violent because they don't have the skill to handle anger in any other way. These are the ones you can work with. For what it's worth I worked with them. For years. And I can tell you with these people it is very possible to effect change.
This makes sense to me
 
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