Forgive and forget, or bear a grudge?

If someone has upset you do you move on and get on with your life or will you bear a grudge for years, never talking to that person again? Is it a matter of personal pride verging on the militant to 'not give in'?

I am of the former. I believe life's too short to have grievances and it clears the air to sort out personal issues with someone quickly rather than to sulk and ignore them. Otherwise it stews in my head and gets me frustrated.

I realise there are difference reasons and various levels of why people have problems with one another, but on the whole is it best to get over it sooner rather than later?

Re: Forgive and forget, or bear a grudge?

Once more I find myself mostly in agreement with you, Floydy.

I much prefer to clear the air and I do not bear grudges. I saw what that did to my mother. If someone upset her she would bring it up in every conversation. Not only would she hold the grudge - she expected everyone else to as well. She died a friendless, bitter old woman.

Much better to sort it out at the time and let it go.

Re: Forgive and forget, or bear a grudge?

I try forgive and forget Floydy but some things are just unforgivable in those cases I have to admit I do cut people out of my life.....life is too short to share or with people you have lost trust in.

Re: Forgive and forget, or bear a grudge?

I usually forget about it, it all depends how much they have upset me.

example my Sister, I will never forgive her, we haven't spoke now for 2 years and I don't intend to.

Re: Forgive and forget, or bear a grudge?

'Forgiveness', 'forget' 'turn the other cheek' , these are expressions raised many times before under different topics.

It is surprising how many fail to acknowledge that each individual seems to have a different standard for a different purpose and have exposed themselves many times on 'OFF' in relation to this question

Re: Forgive and forget, or bear a grudge?

Very true .....

Re: Forgive and forget, or bear a grudge?

Sorry to start a conversation, Puddle Duck

Re: Forgive and forget, or bear a grudge?

I bear a grudge, can do that for years. Never with people who apologise, I can forgive them, but if they don't & haven't apologised, then I ignore them. It's been 18 months since I spoke to my next door neighbours. He has never said he was sorry for what he said to me & my daughter.

Re: Forgive and forget, or bear a grudge?

No worries, it's just that we do these thing without thinking about what we are doing.
When we each pay attention to our make up, it is the specific topic that dominates our attitudes, and forgiveness or grudge etc. Therefore we cannot (myself included) cannot make a sweeping statement like we always forgive rather than condemn, because we don't, do we ?

Re: Forgive and forget, or bear a grudge?

Me? I neither forgive or forget.

If someone gives me grief then I'll either just write it off (but never forgive it) or get even irrespective of how long it takes, though I might just write it off after a while.

Forget?

Never.