11-07-2021, 09:25 AM
2393
Re: Let's have a laugh
I was eating my chinese last night and it made me think! Theres thousands of chinese restaraunts and take a ways all over England which means there are loads of Chinese people:But how many Chinese funerals have you seen?
Ive never seen one - So what they doing with them?
Then looking at my sweet and sour chicken balls Im thinking, "chickens dont have balls that big!"
11-07-2021, 09:30 AM
2394
Re: Let's have a laugh
Originally Posted by Vlad
->
I was eating my chinese last night and it made me think! Theres thousands of chinese restaraunts and take a ways all over England which means there are loads of Chinese people:But how many Chinese funerals have you seen?
Ive never seen one - So what they doing with them?
Then looking at my sweet and sour chicken balls Im thinking, "chickens dont have balls that big!"
12-07-2021, 04:20 PM
2397
Re: Let's have a laugh
The Irish Army found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of 1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of 72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with 96,000. The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Quartermaster who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my penis to my testicles.'It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had received. But the old Quartermaster insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measure was taken by a Medical Officer. The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the man to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The Medical Officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Quartermaster's penis and began to work back.
'Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?'
The Quartermaster calmly replied, 'Afghanistan.'
12-07-2021, 10:08 PM
2399
Re: Let's have a laugh
Originally Posted by Percy Vere
->
The Irish Army found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of 1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of 72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with 96,000. The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Quartermaster who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my penis to my testicles.' It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had received. But the old Quartermaster insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measure was taken by a Medical Officer. The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the man to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The Medical Officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Quartermaster's penis and began to work back.
'Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?'
The Quartermaster calmly replied, 'Afghanistan.'
Very good. Nicked.
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