Agnes's Poems
THE TEA DANCE
I’d like to go out dancing, I said to the warden, Mrs Green
For many years at Blackpool, I was the Blackpool Queen.
O.K. Cinderella, you shall go to the ball,
There’s a tea-dance on today, and it’s in the village hall.
“Let me help you granny”, said a well dressed nice young man
As he helped me through the door, with my zimmer in my hand.
A young man came over, and said “I’d like to dance with you,
My name is Jim, I live alone, and I’m only sixty two.
We tripped the light fantastic, all that afternoon
And the zimmer lay redundant, in the corner of the room.
Then disaster struck!.....
Jimmy sneezed, his teeth came out, that really was a shock
For those flying choppers flew straight out and headed down my frock.
Jimmy quickly made a grab, before he’d time to think,
Then realised what he had done, his face it turned quite pink.
Now the manager had seen this, and he misunderstood
Came over grabbing Jimmy, called him “dirty, old and rude”
The manager then dragged him, forcefully across the floor,
He rather brusquely pushed him and said, “look there’s the door”.
Meanwhile……
The teeth wedged in my cleavage, were firmly out of sight
But as I picked my stick up, the teeth began to bite
I nearly overbalanced, and went into a spin.
Then tripped a waitress over and hit her on the chin.
The dancers hadn’t noticed, as they tried to keep the beat.
Because of chain reaction, they ended in a heap
So battered, bruised and dented, we were wrapped in sheets and rugs
We’ve been barred from all the dances, as hooligans and thugs.
Jimmy got his teeth back, and he’ll visit me quite soon
But we’ll not forget that Tea-dance, that fateful afternoon.