19-04-2021, 07:43 PM
22
Re: Flattery will get you nowhere
Originally Posted by pauline3
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I believe thinking someone has put a lot of weight on is just as bad as speaking it out.....I thought that about a friend a few days back, as she came through the door ,I was thinking omg, you have put a ton load of weight on, but would never speak it out to her, because it would have made her feel terrible, she was telling me how depressed she was over her weight....well, I could hardly tell her my thoughts could I.
I also think weight is a very delicate subject for some. I would never ask anyone if they thought I'd put weight on, it's something we already should know if we have or not.
19-04-2021, 07:46 PM
23
Re: Flattery will get you nowhere
Originally Posted by bakerman
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If a wife asks her husband how she looks, my advice for him is to lie through his teeth. As in, "You look fantastic, darling" 
19-04-2021, 08:01 PM
25
Re: Flattery will get you nowhere
Originally Posted by bakerman
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If a wife asks her husband how she looks, my advice for him is to lie through his teeth. As in, "You look fantastic, darling"
Originally Posted by Surfermom
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Off topic, off topic!!! Where are the mods? This thread is about flattery not self-preservation.
19-04-2021, 09:28 PM
26
Re: Flattery will get you nowhere
Originally Posted by pauline3
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I believe thinking someone has put a lot of weight on is just as bad as speaking it out....
Thoughts don't hurt people's feelings or destroy their confidence but words do!!
I'm really interested in your explanation..
20-04-2021, 03:59 AM
28
Re: Flattery will get you nowhere
Originally Posted by RJG
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I don't feel like that about forums, to me they are a displacement activity when I have a few moments to spare. Unless you have actually met people in real life you can't know what they are really like at all. In the past I have met in person some members of forums on which I used to post, with one exception they were nothing like the way they portrayed themselves on the Internet.
20-04-2021, 06:34 AM
29
Re: Flattery will get you nowhere
Originally Posted by carol
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Why is thinking something just as bad as speaking it out Pauline? I don't understand how it could be.Thoughts don't hurt people's feelings or destroy their confidence but words do!!
I'm really interested in your explanation..
Thoughts are just as bad imo as speaking them out, you are hiding what you want to say, so when you told her she had only put a little weight on, you never spoke your real/ true thoughts. so really you were telling an untruth...same as I did with my friend, I’m learning not to think such thoughts,
because they aren’t nice....
You are free to behave/ speak as you choose, none of my business.
I am also free to do the same, I choose to try and banish nasty thoughts from my mind....it’s not a good thing and they can take hold.
A good example is your neighbour and the bollard you installed,I bet your thoughts about your neighbour caused you some type of anguish?......I sounded like you hated him, not good thoughts eh Carol....not good for ones health either.
20-04-2021, 06:46 AM
30
Re: Flattery will get you nowhere
For some reason I can't quote this, so I will put my answer here: You replied"Thoughts are just as bad imo as speaking them out, if you don’t understand that , Carol, then I can’t help you, .."
I actually don't understand that either, Pauiine....thoughts come into the mind, unbidden. Its how we make decisions in the world. It is, however, what we do with them that matters. We can choose to speak them, or choose to act upon them and it is THAT (in my opinion) which can cause the hurt. But we are free to think how we please.
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