The Devil in Hell
The Devil in hell we're told he stays,
A thousand years he there remains,
He never complained nor did he moan,
But was determined to start a hell of his own,
Where he could torment the souls of men,
Without being chained in a prison den.
He asked the lord if he had on hand,
Anything left when he made this land,
The lord said yes there's plenty on hand,
But I left it down by the Rio Grande,
The fact is old boy the stub is so poor,
I don't think you could use it as a hell any more.
The devil went down to look at the truck,
And said he would take it if he was stuck,
After looking it over careful and well,
He said this place is too dry for a hell.
In order to get it off his hands,
The lord promised to water the land,
So trade was closed and deed was given,
The lord went back to his home in heaven,
The devil said now I've got all that's needed,
To make a good hell, . . and he succeeded.
He began by putting thorns all over the trees,
He mixed up the sand with millions of fleas,
He scattered tarantulas all over the roads,
Put thorns on cacti and horns on toads,
He lengthened the horns of the Texas steer,
And put an addition to the rabbits ear,
Put a little devil in the Bronco steed,
And poisoned the feet of the centipede,
The rattle snake bites you, the scorpion stings,
The mosquito delights you with his buzzing wings,
The sand burrs are there and so are the ants,
If you sit down you'll need soles on your pants.
The wild boar roams on the high chaparral,
It's a helluva place that he has for a hell,
The heat in the summer's a hundred and ten,
Too hot for the devil, . . too hot for men,
The red pepper grows on the edge of the brook,
The Mexicans use it for all that they cook,
Just dine with one and you're sure to shout,
I'VE HELL ON THE INSIDE AS WELL AS THE OUT,
My hands are calloused July to July,
I use the big dipper to navigate by,
Fight off the wolves to drink from my well,
So I have to mean as hell.