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Cinderella
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29-09-2019, 12:22 PM
11

Re: Groaner Jokes

Q. Why did the spider go on a test drive?
A. He just wanted to go for a spin.
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Cinderella
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29-09-2019, 12:31 PM
12

Re: Groaner Jokes

The bad and ugly king had a beautiful girl as a captive.

Though her beauty shone like a thousand moons, the dress she was forced to wear was very unbecoming.

She waited day and night, looking out the dungeon window, searching for the knight who would free her.

However, every knight was scared away by her dress which was very ugly.

She was crying in hopelessness when the evil king jeered,

"See, I told you no knight would rescue a damsel in dis dress"!
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29-09-2019, 12:37 PM
13

Re: Groaner Jokes

In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
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30-09-2019, 07:35 AM
14

Re: Groaner Jokes

A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.
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02-10-2019, 01:10 PM
15

Re: Groaner Jokes

Two ducks are walking down a street in a village in Ireland .
One duck says 'Quack , quack. '
The other one says, 'I'm going as quack as I can !'
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02-10-2019, 01:15 PM
16

Re: Groaner Jokes

Two men where carrying a coffin , when
it slip out of one of there hands
and went into a pharmacy shop.
The two men went running into the pharmacy yelling do you have anything to stop this coffin .
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02-10-2019, 01:25 PM
17

Re: Groaner Jokes

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough, use an ashtray.
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03-10-2019, 01:09 AM
18

Re: Groaner Jokes

Kid comes running into the backwoods shack crying.."Mummy mummy! Daddy's going out again!"...Mother shakes her head and replies.."OK..there's another tin of kerosene out the back"
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06-10-2019, 09:35 PM
19

Re: Groaner Jokes

The European Union commissioners have announced that, following Brexit, agreement has been reached to keep English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).


In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”.

Sivil servants will sertainly resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard “c” will be replaced with “k”. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced by “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent “e”s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” by z” and “w” by v.

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou”, and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru!
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