Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Love that song.

God help the poor wife, all through the years she tried everything to get the kids and me to eat sprouts at Christmas time, she boiled them, roasted them, fried them, shredded them, even cooked them in cabbage water, all to no avail, she finally gave up as soon as the kids reached adulthood.
She eats sprouts whenever she fancies, she has a fantastic constitution, she would eat a horses arse through a hedge as they say, good luck to her she’s always in good form and at 74 she hasn’t a grey hair in her head, must have something to do with all the sprouts she eats, if she can’t get her quota for Christmas and the new year she’ll probably go grey overnight.
The people selling Brussels sprouts must have a tough job, it puts me in mind of the Opal stone merchants, the opal is considered to be the unluckiest of all stones, well in the jewellery business it is, and the sprout is considered the most undesirable vegetable. I have had two bad experiences where opals were involved and now I wouldn’t touch an opal with a barge pole, I kid you not, I’ve turned down a lot of work in me day because it involved working with opals.
I must jot down what happened with me and the opals some day.
Maybe if they made a pulp of the sprouts, then flattened it out and using moulds cut out sprouts in the shape of teddy bears, stars, or little green pigs, then they might appeal more to the children?, I mean they are good for you, but like everything else, everything that’s good for you tastes horrible.
(it would be just my luck if some enterprising greengrocer seen this and sent me a few free boxes of frozen sprouts)

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

See, folks have got so consumed about how all this stuff got here, no one is noticing just how much stuff is leaving.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Odd you should write that about stuff leaving spitty as whilst I was doing a shop for a neighbour yesterday I stood in an aisle looking at the multitude of choices on offer and 'Spoilt for choice' came to mind. Who really wants spoiling when all they want is a bit of cheese or a box of cornflakes. It's all gone a bit barmy and way over the top.

The laughable food mind games that producers now ply us with is mind boggling so even halving the many options would still leave us with lots to choose from.

In short I don't care how stuff leaves our over stocked shelves just so long as we get back to common sense shopping instead of this imbecilic pandering type shop fest.

Right that's me had my say now I am going to rummage through my 24 multi pack of assorted crisps and decide which flavour to have with my morning cuppa

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Enjoy your crisps Solo, Cheese ’N’ Onion are the only crisps I eat, they went a bit overboard with crisp flavours and ruined the product. birds nest soup flavoured crisps for Gods sake.

Don't worry about missing stuff Spitty, this is the way I see it.
The learned heads will tell us that all this stuff got here on the backs of astroids, just dropped off like snow off a roof as they passed over this planet, of course sometimes the astroids crashed into the earth and dumped the whole cargo of “stuff” all in the one go, that explains why there is more stuff in some countries than others.
We are all made of “stuff”, although some are made of “sterner stuff”, when we die we will be “stiff stuff” for a while and then we will be recycled into other stuff, whats here on this planet stays on this planet as stuff, albeit different kinds of stuff, by the way the sterner stuff comes off the back of meteorites and not astroids, or so a fella from Mars was telling me, that’s Maher’s pub in Moore Street and not the far side of the moon, but it’s pronounced exactly the same.
I hope that helps, if it doesn’t one can always “get stuffed”

My missus has a stuffed teddy bear up in the attic, she’s had it since she was a child and her mother owned it before her, it looked a bit mangy looking to me the last time I saw it but she reckons it’s worth a good few quid (some stuff is more valuable than other stuff I believe), she’ll never part with it though, she’ll pass it on to the daughter, well and good, she will just keep it in her attic with all her other stuff.
Phew! I’m tired now after typing out all that stuff, it’s just about knocked the stuffing out of me, I think I need a drop of the hard stuff now.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

That teddy of Phyllis's puts me in mind of one I saw on The Repair shop last week and a mankier bear you would be hard pushed to find but the 2 women worked on him and turned him out as fit as new.

As I sat watching I mused wouldn't it be great if us humans could have that when we get a bit thread bare but the more I watched and the the more I saw how they had to achieve it, I thought to hell with that I'll stay just the way I am...worn in parts, joints not working proper, hair getting a bit thin.... cos as yet I haven't had the stuffing completely knocked out of me....and thats all that matters.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Yes Solo, watched that, can never envisage having the existing stuffing removed, and replaced with new Stuff.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Some comforting words for those about to fly.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Another newspaper gem for you. At great cost a town in Wales have taken measures to stop you having nookie in their toilets. Can you imagine wanting to use the bogs for a lovin session...sounds potty I know ...but there you go takes all kinds ...but if you do you will now get water sprays aimed at you, alarms will sound and doors will open.

Now how are they going to detect this activity...well with weight sensors of course that activate violent movement. Now some poor soul carrying a bit extra flab just wanting to go to the lav with no thoughts of sex on the mind could also set these off and the next thing you know they are soaked, scared half witless and on display to one and all with character left in shreds.

A lot cheaper to bring back those nice toilet attendants who would just turf you out at the sightest hint of hanky panky

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Flying was never for me Solo, the boat may take longer but your chances in danger are far better, as I always said about planes, all it take is one loose screw and anything can happen.

I didn’t think Welsh folks were so randy, sex in a toilet is not very romantic is it, it’s the last place I’d want to have it, ugh! surrounded by drab tiling and evil smells, and what a waste of money, as you rightly say in the old days the attendants kept the public toilets in great order and they put up with no messin’. I knew a fella who was an attendant in one of the bigger toilets in O’Connell St., poor fella was sacked, they were stock taking and there was a shit missing. (sorry but I just had to stick that old chestnut in )
Alas all lost to “progress”
I’m a candlelight dinner and satin sheets man meself, I used to like doing my wooing with patience and a bit of style, but everyone to their own taste as the monkey said when he licked his backside.

The wife had the windows open all last night, she sweats a lot in the Summertime so I said nothing and just put up with the wind howling and the bunting flapping all night, she has the bunting out for the big match final on Sept 1 in Croke Park, featuring old rivals Dublin and Kerry, but as they say Dublin for the cup and Kerry for the holidays.

OPEN WINDOWS ON A WINDY MORNING.

The wife is very feminine, gentle and meek
She’s also a bit of a nature freak
I got up early to have a pee
The window was open and the wind blew free
It blew cold on the corn of my shivering foot
And froze together the two cheeks of my butt.

Now all this nature stuff is alright by me
And I love to hear the buzz of the bee
But some things can be taken too far
Like the wind being with you wherever you are
So I got back into bed and curled up in a ball
But jumped up in fright as the mirror blew off the wall.

“For God’s sake missus, this is the last straw!”
As I picked a splinter of glass from my left jaw
“It’s all too much for this old geezer
I’d be better off if I slept in the freezer”
“Go down and get the hoover and suck it all up
And if your making tea, bring me up a cup”

Dear Lord, If ever a man suffered.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Great poem Jem

Satin sheets...OMW that takes me back a few years when things were a lot more livelier

Sometimes you wish for things not knowing the consequences...then when you get what you wish for and find out the consequences...you wish you hadn't wished for it in the first place.

I always wished for satin sheets and eventually my wish was granted with a gift set of beautifull peach satin ones..and we could not wait to make the bed up with them. They looked and felt exactly as I had always imagined them to be....so eager to try them out I took a flying leap onto the bed...slid on the satin sheets...kept on sliding and didn't stop... till I hit the far wall with an almighty thud. Stunned is not the word you want to use at a time like this... but stunned I was. Killed any thoughts of passion pretty quick I can tell you

When we had finally stopped laughing I had those satin sheets off the bed quicker than you can say Jack Flash because one thing I knew, flannel sheets may sound unromantic but they are a lot safer, far more reliable...and lets be honest, much warmer than any longed for fancy satin sheets.