Re: Same Sex Marriages.

Karen my dad and mum wouldn't let me change to theirs, it was not a nice name, and as a child I would have suffered for it.

Re: Same Sex Marriages.

Marriage is making a comeback in the UK. This is from the Daily Mail earlier this year.

"Marriage is coming back into fashion. After 40 years of decline, the number of weddings has risen by 3.7 per cent in a year. Analysts believe the recession has caused a return to family values and a desire for the stability marriage offers."

It is declining in Australia: "Although the number of marriages is now the highest recorded, the population has also increased substantially over time. As a result, the marriage rate is now lower than it was 20 years ago."

Re: Same Sex Marriages.

This is unnecessarily muddying the waters. I don't think the issue here is whether the marriage takes place in a registry office, on your back lawn with a civil celebrant or a church. The issue is whether single sex marriages should happen at all.

Re: Same Sex Marriages.

And yet 50% of marriages end in divorce

Re: Same Sex Marriages.

Did you consider changing it at some point then Wrinkly?

Re: Same Sex Marriages.

It isn't muddying the waters at all and I've already stated that I don't see a problem with single-sex marriages. My comment was to highlight that marriage, as it now stands, is divisive. If two people wish to make a public announcement about their relationship, that should apply to men marrying men or women marrying women. Marriage is a choice; genetic makeup isn't.

Re: Same Sex Marriages.

Many reasons for that, not enough thought put into who people marry (the wedding is the goal not the marriage), people live longer, fidelity seems no longer to be what people want, people don't want to work for their marriages, divorce is rather more easy than it used to be and not carrying a stigma anymore.


I am sure there are more than that too.

But none of those things mean marriage is less popular or less needed.

Re: Same Sex Marriages.

Surely your last comment is contradictory? If marriage was popular then why do half of them end in divorce? One reason could be that marriage is held up as something that will cure all family ills - but it doesn't, it can, in fact, make them worse.

I don't understand what people living longer has to do with it but I can assure you, fidelity has always been a problem and probably always will; people outgrow one another or discover that living with someone isn't the same as dating someone (as I've learned).

I've never understood the comment that 'marriage has to be worked for' - that in itself implies it is not a natural state of relationship. If you had a friend that you always had to work hard at keeping, you'd soon end up walking away from that friend, probably muttering (as we hear many people say) 'too much like hard work' and I've also walked away from friends saying exactly that.

Divorce isn't as easy as it used to be - at one time, you just uttered 'I divorce thee' three times and that was it! There was no stigma attached.

Most of the beliefs you have posted are quite recently adopted (historically speaking) and have been, for some time, viewed as the natural order but in fact, they're not.

Re: Same Sex Marriages.

Working at marriage is important but shouldn't mean hard work, we sit down periodically and talk about what we want, where we are going, anything we are unhappy about etc, no big rows, just a time to discuss if we are still happy. Worked well for us all these years and not something people divorcing have put in place we have seen.


Living longer, years ago when lives were shorter people were married for far less time as a partner could die in childbirth or go to war and never return they got another chance with another marriage.

Fidelity has always been a problem perhaps but at what point has sex been so easy for most people to just pop out and get ? With no one so much as batting and eye, young people have multiple partners before settling down, if they bother to settle that is. I am told I am old fashioned having one man in my life for so many years only slept with one man too, when most seem to think 4 or 5 a year is more normal.

And marriage is popular, very popular sadly the marriages just don't last though.

Re: Same Sex Marriages.

I do think a lot of married people forget how to talk to one another (watched too many agony aunt shows ). I remember telling both of my husbands how unhappy I felt but nothing changed - for more than a couple of weeks then they went straight back to behaving in a way I didn't like very much. It wasn't that talking didn't happen but both sides have to want to put things right. Maybe in many marriages, the benefits are too one-sided.


Ah, I see what you mean; yes, I understand that now.

From what I have read Julie, it is less common now than it used to be (a few centuries ago) and as long as someone wasn't publicly 'cuckolded', a blind eye was turned. You would even have priests denouncing sex as evil but then they themselves would not only sneak off to brothels or the local courtesan but would invest money in local brothels!

I think it is the wedding that is popular and people don't stop and wonder 'can I really live the rest of my life with this person?'. Marriage worked better when women had little choice but to marry if they wanted to survive (from the point that patriarchy took over that is) - maybe that's why many men tried to prevent women from having any rights, they knew their priviledged life would change drastically and it has.