15-04-2014, 09:06 AM
1
Mourning
Queen Victoria mourned for 40 years her Prince Albert, she wore black for the rest of her life, after his death.I appreciate the fact that one can mourn a loved one, but I think 40 years is far too long.
My mother mourned my father one day a year, on the anniversary of his death, I think this is enough, she married again to a widower who never mourned his wife, but he never forgot her.
I know my wife and I would get over it because of our beliefs, we would never wear black, and we would never forget where we were laid to rest, but not important to us.
I know it is not a nice subject for some to talk about, I stand by your beliefs.
I feel the rest of you life is very important, enjoy it.
How do you feel about mourning the dead?
15-04-2014, 09:14 AM
2
Re: Mourning
I tend to agree with you Wrinkly, but also appreciate that people grieve in different ways. Those who need to know have already been told that I am not even having a funeral or any kind of memorial service - and will come back and haunt those disrespect my wishes !
15-04-2014, 09:43 AM
4
Re: Mourning
I think it depends where you are in life, my granddad couldn't wait to join my Nan again after she died and pined for her for the rest of his life. But he was in his late 70s and they had been married for over 50 years dependant on their love for each other through many troubled times. He was lost with out her. I am sure if he had been a young man he may have been able to move on and deal with it all better.My mum almost danced on my Dads grave and didn't seem to grieve at all, my FIL just moved in with the woman he was seeing before my MIL died so again didn't seem to grieve at all.
I know which one I think was more dignified.
But people generally have to be allowed to grieve in the way that helps them most.
15-04-2014, 10:07 AM
6
Re: Mourning
Rather than mourn the death of our loved ones myself and my husband celebrate their life so on the anniversary of their passing we raise a glass to absent friends. It doesent matter what we are drinking mostly it seems to be tea.We believe that they have not left us but are on another plane waiting for us to join them, when the time is right.
We also talk about them fondly warts and all.
15-04-2014, 10:08 AM
7
Re: Mourning
When I was young all the women wore black for 6 months or even a year, one lady across the street whose husband died young wore black all her life, the men used to wear a black diamond piece of cloth sewn onto their sleeve, I don't see that anymore.We all mourn in our own way, my way is to keep the happy memories of my loved ones with me in my head, I personally don't see the need for elaborate graves and huge headstones, that's done to impress the living, so is outward long term mourning, in my opinion.
15-04-2014, 11:09 AM
9
Re: Mourning
I don't think as many people wear black anymore these days, I don't like it at all, it really is a morbid colour to me.Perhaps we should mourn in a way we feel appropriate to us personally, and not how it may be 'expected' of us. It would also depend on the depth of feeling you had for the deceased in the first place, whether it be mourning for a human or treasured pet as well, as some people can't get over their death either.
15-04-2014, 11:11 AM
10
Re: Mourning
Originally Posted by Jem
->
When I was young all the women wore black for 6 months or even a year, one lady across the street whose husband died young wore black all her life, the men used to wear a black diamond piece of cloth sewn onto their sleeve, I don't see that anymore.We all mourn in our own way, my way is to keep the happy memories of my loved ones with me in my head, I personally don't see the need for elaborate graves and huge headstones, that's done to impress the living, so is outward long term mourning, in my opinion.
Yup, I agree with your views there Jem.
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