Re: Mourning

Exactly the same for me Jazzi!

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To grieve for a long time seems a shame, why waste ones life grieving, your loved ones would not have wanted that.
But sadly it sometimes something one can't help it, we saw today the city of Liverpool grieving for the 96 folks who died at Hillsborough football ground, it was nice to see folks standing in silence for one minute.
Traffic stopped, even ferries crossing the Mersey stopped mid stream and fell silent, it was nice to see the respect shown.
Years ago when I was a kid, the nation stood in complete silence for our fallen servicemen in two world wars, it doesn't happen as much these days, the traffic still moves on, and some folks go about their business, men used to take their hats off and bow their heads wherever the are.
I was standing at the war memorial in Brighouse last year, and folks were walking past us and not bothering.
My father died on November the 10th 1944 just a few months before the war ended, so remembrance day means something to me, sometimes it is on the anniversary to the day.

Re: Mourning

"To grieve for a long time seems a shame, why waste ones life grieving, your loved ones would not have wanted that."

It's not wasting your life to grieve, it's normal, for some it may take years to feel they have come to terms with their loss , for others, they never get over it

Re: Mourning

Grieving is personal and individual.. However much lip service is paid to that fact, Society still imposes it's own rules and expectations. I didn't believe that until I was widowed suddenly at age 53. I received so much sympathy and support... that is until I began dating again. Make no mistake about it... a widow is the new virgin as viewed by society. We say we want people to "go on with their lives" but that really isn't the case, especially with widows. Widowers are given a little more latitude. People seem to be more comfortable with a woman in perpetual grief than they do with a widow dating.

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that seems to be the case I'm sorry to say when a widow meets someone else, it doesn't seem to matter how long she's been on her own, some folk will always talk, I don't think they're of a certain age either, that kind of thing used to be blamed on the older generation not moving on and having old fashioned ideas but nowadays it appears to be frowned upon by their friends and family too in many cases.

Whatever happened to live and let live?

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There's a beautiful poem by Mary Elizabeth Fry. The first few lines are:

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am the thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow............

We had this at my husband's funeral and it brings comfort to me still. Do have a look at it - it may help in a time of sorrow.

Gwyn

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I know it well...

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Yes I know it well Alice, it is nice.

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This one too..


Death is Nothing at All
Henry Scott Holland



Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.



I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.

All is well.

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My late hubby died when he was just 32. I remarried two-and-a-half years later and have now been married almost 36 years. Nobody seemed to frown upon me for doing this. Life goes on but I will never ever forget my first husband.