Divorce blues..

Hi all , I hope this is relevent if not I will remove ..perhaps there is someone on here who has had the same experience....As some of you may know my marriage was destroyed last year when my wife (27yrs) thought the grass was greener elsewhere ...My life was ripped apart...over the last year i went through anger self pity and anger again then hate then exitment (thats strange but true) every emotion you can think off but i carried on ..yesterday I got the Decree absolute...I had innitially convinced myself that i would celebrate go out ect .... But the reality is I am gutted reality that i am no longer married has hit very hard I did not think it would hurt like this, I did not realise that 31 years with someone made such a impact on me despite all the hurt she put me through...Can anyone relate to this...

Re: Divorce blues..

Oh yes indeed. I totally understand . I'm 11 years on from it all now , thank god no longer struggling with the pain loss and grief. I am sorry for your loss , it's a dreadful thing. No one understands unless they too have been through it . One day Martin ,sometime in the future , you will never know when , but you will start to feel better, the loss will slowly ease. Without realising life will rebuild itself, you will discover who you truly are .

My greatest fear of living alone in fact was my greatest gift. I have become me, I found out who I am, I've learned to cope , I've travelled , I've lived a life I would never have had .

It's painful for you , be gentle with yourself. One day life will begin again. Best wishes x

Re: Divorce blues..

Hi Steve
I am sure all the feelings you have at the moment are perfectly normal and shared by others who go through a divorce.
What you are experiencing is a form of bereavement, a grieving for something which is lost.

It will take time for you to fully accept your 'new situation' it should gradually feel less strange .
I would try to look on this as a new beginning and find something to enjoy in each day

Re: Divorce blues..

Meg has put my thoughts for me - one day, you will realise this is a new beginning and the hurt will pass, if you let it ......
I have been through similar with my family, I have no family now - it has been a new chapter in my life and I have left the past where it belongs .......

Re: Divorce blues..

I've been both divorced and widowed,so know how You feel...This is a new chapter in Your Life,forgive,and move on...,there could be something/Someone wonderful just waiting around the corner..look forward not back..wishing You happiness and good luck.

Re: Divorce blues..

I can totally relate. I was married for 30 years, together for thirty three. My husband also thought the grass was greener. It was horrendous at the time as I felt I had lost everything. Apart from my wonderful sons. I had been with my husband much longer than I had lived a single life. Four years on my life is so different. I'm happier than ever. I still can't quite believe what happened and still feel sad at times, but nowhere like it was before. It's the fact that they're "still there". They didn't die, but you lost them and you feel a feeling of bereavement and abandonment.

You are entitled to a happy life. You came into the world on your own. Met someone for years. Now on your own again and need to celebrate your own life and do things you want to and things to make you happy. This attitude has kept me going. I believe we are born, but meet people "on loan" throughout our life.

You will keep getting stronger. It's a "time" thing. I wish you all the very best and there is light at the end of the tunnel