Online Dating Warning

I have no idea how many people here might use online dating sites, or know someone who does, but I have just received this warning from Action Fraud and hope no one is offended if I post it here.

The lengths some of this fraudsters will go to, even selling your details!
(Sorry it's a bit long).


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Lonely Hearts Romance Fraudster Alert

The NFIB have become aware of techniques used by romance fraudsters against people using dating sites. Not only will they steal your heart they will steal your money and your identification.

When you think you’ve met the perfect partner through an online dating website or app, but the other person is using a fake profile to form a relationship with you. They’re using the site to gain your trust and ask you for money or enough personal information to steal your identity.

A dating fraudster, previously involved in deceiving people that wanted a friendship explained how they would create fake accounts with social media platforms so that their details matched and could be searched. By appearing to be a real person their fake persona could be corroborated by prospective partners searching their background and believe them to be genuine. The fraudster said:

“People like to live in fairy tales to say it won’t happen to me. I make sure all my conversations are bespoke. I will show insecurity myself about trusting people and this helps allude to them that I’m genuine.”

The fraudster will also utilise as many accessible online research tools to explore people’s information for their own personal gain or sell onwards. The fraudster elaborated and explained:

“I use various online directories to find out about the person. Once I have enough, I use it to milk everything I can using their details or sell them on to other fraudsters via the dark web”

When asked how people could check if a person is real. The romance fraudster offered advice for others searching for a relationship. They told us that after you see a picture of them:

“Ask for them to send you another photo of themselves posing with their thumbs up or waving. It’s like a form of 2 factor authentication and makes it hard to do if it’s not an original picture”

What you need to do

· Avoid sharing too many personal details when on online dating profiles. Revealing your full name, date of birth, or full home address may lead to your identity being stolen.

· Never respond to any requests to send money, or have money transferred into your account by someone you don’t know and trust. These types of requests should always raise a red flag. If something feels wrong then it is usually right to question it.

· Pick a reputable dating website or app, and use the built-in messaging service. Fraudsters want to quickly switch to social media or texting so there’s no evidence of them asking you for money.


Message Sent By
Action Fraud (Action Fraud, Administrator, National)

Re: Online Dating Warning

My Nigerian princess would never do such a thing

Re: Online Dating Warning

I would agree with much of what is written above. However, these scammers rely on the use of reputable dating sites. They are also very proficient at having a series of photos to suit whatever kind of picture you ask them to send you. This is their business and they are very good at it ! They have the time to spend weeks and weeks chatting and building up a sense of a forming relationship.

Working abroad and being single I thought I would try dating sites. The first I joined in October and more or less the first person who contacted me was a scammer. Its not easy to spot straight away and it was only after 5 weeks of chatting that it became apparent. I changed sites and joined another reputable agency and again 6 weeks later I find myself having had the same situation. These scammers are experts and very realistic. The ones I have encountered have not had unrealistic 'fairy tales' as much information leads us to believe. They come across as ordinary people living ordinary lives. None of the over the top declarations of love or unrealistic locations or lifestyles. They both spoke to me on the phone and gave information and life stories freely, chatted about mundane things and sent many pictures.

I took precautions and googled their names, locations and pictures and neither registered as anything but genuine. Yet, as I began to feel that they were genuine people looking for a relationship the request for money was subtly dropped into the mix. It is not only the request but when you question it they then make you feel like a monster for doubting them.

In both situations the recovery was hard. Not because you have fallen in love as that's impossible without meeting someone but you have invested time and hope. I joined a dating site as I wanted to find someone to spend my life with so of course you hope. This is the hard part as after having the courage to try you are knocked down and its hard to get back up again.

So after a long waffle my advice is be cautious and take nothing at face value. If you are looking for love I wish you luck as it's a crazy world out there !

Re: Online Dating Warning

Wise words Crinauk, I'm only sorry you had to learn the hard way.

Re: Online Dating Warning

I agree. Brave honest post crinauk.
I'm sorry you had such a rotten experience, twice over.
But you wouldn't be the first member here who's admitted to parting with a fairly substantial amount of money to an online friend.
It's a steep learning curve.

Re: Online Dating Warning

Thank you for the responses - Luckily I didn't part with any money having been a single parent I don't have the luxury of savings to give away. Mine was purely an emotional loss.