15-08-2015, 05:22 PM
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Healing power of saying sorry
Hope no-one minds if I share yet another sensible article from the new columnist in the DM. Doctor Max PembertonI rather think he talks a lot of sense,. Please give your views on this, do you agree that if more people in senior positions ate a little humble pie, more could be achieved? your views please....QUOTE
A survey this week claimed 80 per cent of parents believe teaching a child to say "please" and "thank you" is the most important life lesson of all.
Actually, I think it's teaching them to say "sorry".
In the world I work in, it's surprising how much this simple word can heal.
It is estimated that about one seventh of the NHS budget is spent meeting compensation claims. Yet research shows a patient's decision to sue is often not based on the harm they suffered, but on how the mistake was handled.
Too often, people feel angered by their treatment, but receive no formal acknowledgement that anything was wrong. They write to hospital managers, but get stone-walled. Is it any wonder they resort to the courts?
I once worked with a surgeon who operated on a woman patient. Afterwards she complained of pain and a strange "dragging" sensation in her abdomen. She went for a check-up, but he dismissed her concerns, assuring her that the operation had been a success.
Things got so bad one evening that she came into A&E. The on-call surgeon agreed to do an exploratory operation to see what was wrong - and as soon as he opened her up, the problem was obvious. A swab had been left inside her after the first operation, causing considerable irritation to the surrounding tissue.
Hospital managers descended in panic, but the woman refused to speak to them, which only made them panic more! Instead, she insisted on speaking to the surgeon.
The next day, he came to the ward. Though the managers had warned him against doing so without legal representation, he went anyway. he said he owed it to his patient.
He was usually quite an arrogant man, so this display of humility surprised everyone. "I was wrong, she deserves to hear that from me", he said, ashen-faced.
At her bed-side, he apologised profusely and said he would fully understand if she chose to make a formal complaint. We all knew this could be very damaging for his career, but he was racked with guilt.
She looked at him aghast. "Why would I want to sue?" she asked. "It was an honest mistake".
"What do you want then?" he asked, perplexed.
"We all make mistakes. You said sorry. That was all I wanted" she replied with a smile.
Now doesn't that make a refreshing change, and just look how being able to be humble, take responsibility for your mistake no matter how senior you are in your profession, can make all the difference in the world.
What do you think?
15-08-2015, 05:27 PM
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Re: Healing power of saying sorry
Amazing really - Fabs and I were discussing this earlierThere is a lady where I live who can be very terse and tactless but - it seems she thinks on her words later and the next day will seek the person out and apologise. For this reason I admire this lady - so yes I agree it is very important to instil this reasoning in children ......
15-08-2015, 05:47 PM
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Re: Healing power of saying sorry
I agree with you two ladies ... or pussy cats, depending on how you like to be addressed.
Tis human to err ... as they say.
So many acrimonious incidences in life could be avoided if people just said sorry, they made an honest mistake. Not all, in cases of severe negligence .. but a fair few I should imagine.
But by heck compensation claim lawyers would go out of business overnight if we all did that.
15-08-2015, 07:00 PM
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Re: Healing power of saying sorry
[QUOTE=MKJ;691978]I tried a period of never saying sorry and I felt great! I very rarely say it now come to think of it. Bugger it. Seems like a sign of weakness to me
.[/QUOTE]Its the opposite Mark - don't let that hair dye colour your judgement .................................................
15-08-2015, 07:07 PM
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Re: Healing power of saying sorry
[QUOTE=Patsy;691983]
Originally Posted by MKJ
->
I tried a period of never saying sorry and I felt great! I very rarely say it now come to think of it. Bugger it. Seems like a sign of weakness to me .[/QUOTE]Its the opposite Mark - don't let that hair dye colour your judgement .................................................
Only the strong can say sorry. It takes a bit of soul-searching and sometimes courage
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