03-04-2019, 09:38 PM
14646
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
I'll leave yiz with this to ponder before I head off for a well deserved pint.
Hammered at the Rasher Counter.
Speaking of things behind you, as I said the wife was away for a few days, that meant that yesterday I had to do something I hate, shopping for a few food items.
It’s not really the actual shopping I dislike, I’m just not a natural shopper, I look out of place carrying a shopping basket and a list of groceries all around the supermarket, sort of lost looking, then you have all the female neighbours stopping you and asking you if the wife is sick and having to explain a hundred times that she’s grand, she’s away with her sister for a few days, terribly trying repeating the same story over and over again, I now know how Crippen felt when he got rid of his wife Cora.
Anyway back to what I wanted to say. There was I at the rasher counter eyeing up a few streakies to surprise the missus with a big fry up for her breakfast when she got in on the early train, I don’t eat meat myself but good luck to those who do, and the wife would eat a horses arse through a hedge.
I felt a slight tug at the back of me jacket and looked around, there was this little weasel of a man, a scruffy old fella with a huge toothless smile on him.
“Howya Charlie, getting yer rashers in early I see”
I didn’t know him from Adam.
“You must think I’m someone else old chap, my name is Jimmy”
“Ah well, whatever, we’re all made in Gods image, Charlies, Jimmys, Janes and Johns, listen ya wouldn’t have five euros on ya for a cup of tea would ya Harry?”
I didn’t know tea was gone up so much since I last had to buy a cup of it, but it wouldn’t surprise me the price of things in the city today. I gave him a two euro coin and he didn’t even say thanks, off he wobbled to the off license counter, took out a stack of euro coins and bought a bottle of vodka, I was aghast, thank God for verbal dexterity or I would have given him a piece of my mind. Anyway I was glad to be shut of him as the pong off his breath was unbearable.
So look out, and watch yer back the next time your at the rasher counter. someone might put the hammer on you.
Putting “The” hammer on someone in Dublin means asking them for money, not to be confused with putting “A” hammer on you, which is even more painful.