New old fashioned parenting

I believe I agree with this http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mot...to-be-one.html and not much has changed between how I parented our adult children to how I am parenting Grace really, biggest difference is she has a computer in her room something I never let them have. But we have very strict parental controls on it for internet use.
I find the first no is hard but when the kids realise you mean it they stop asking repeatedly it just takes the once or twice for them to understand.

Re: New old fashioned parenting

I agree, Julie, sometimes kids pester and a 'no' repeated and meant is all that's needed - all kids need boundaries and it's up to us, as adults, to set them.
I can't bear being around noisy, bad mannered kids with equally noisy bad mannered parents!

Re: New old fashioned parenting

I wanted to be everything my father was not with my children in my first marriage but it was a complete disaster and I still feel a failure from that experience.

Now I'm a grandfather several times over I feel more confident in giving advice if I am asked and I do believe that some of the methods I noted from my childhood seem to be returning; whether this is a good thing or not I'm really not qualified to answer.

However, I watched a programme on TV recently featuring 4-year-olds and I was both surprised and a little shocked at what some of them had obviously learned at such a young age.

Perhaps I may ask question here: - is it considered normal for a child of 4 to develop a bullying, intimidating attitude these days?

Is that not a reflection on what they've learned from parents or guardians or am I out-of-touch on modern child-rearing practises? stevmk2

Re: New old fashioned parenting

Its definitely all gone wrong somewhere along the line
When a parent says no, I wish they meant it, but kids know it will be said many more times and its excruciating to be a witness too

Re: New old fashioned parenting

Some are very demanding and precocious, quite over confident I think I would describe it as, they are right and they want what they want when they want it. It is something I won't have with mine and they luckily never really did it. I don't want to sound too draconian we have a lot of fun but they know who is in charge and how to behave nicely. Manners matter IMO.
But I think some parents just obey the children they are too lazy to bother to be parents.

Re: New old fashioned parenting

That would explain a lot Julie.

Why would parents not realise that their children actually watch them far more closely for "pointers" in how to behave than anyone they'd meet outside of the family environment?

Is that a symptom of laziness or just plain lack of experience from their own childhood?

Some of the behaviour of young children I see in shops or on the High Street I find rather daunting at times - there's sometimes no respect for themselves or for anyone else. stevmk2

Re: New old fashioned parenting

Watch out Julie, many kids will soon learn how to hack their way round parental controls. Rules, as they say, were meant for the guidance of wise men and the obedience of fools.

Re: New old fashioned parenting

Our parental controls are more physical, her computer is password protected and we turn it on for her when it is her time, and she has at the moment one hour a day, we are in and out as she is on it and can look at what she has been looking at in the history. I don't really trust the parental locks we found the boys could unlock their computers rather easier than we could I tend to trust until I am proved wrong to do so, so far Grace has spent more time downloading cute animals and looking for cheetahs (think she may be a twin to Patsy ) than anything else.

TBH she is more interested in making things and getting outside to play than computers we are hoping that continues for a long time.

Re: New old fashioned parenting

I dislike precocious, spoiled children. The fault of the parents letting them away with it. They are doing them no favours whatsoever as people end up disliking them, which is a shame. If you start by saying no when they are young to take heed, then it gets much easier. I wasn't a perfect parent, but my sons were all polite and well mannered and able to fit into company. So, you do them a favour being a wee bit stricter when they are young.

Re: New old fashioned parenting

I don't think there is any such thing as a perfect parent I often think I could do better, perhaps that's a key anyone not thinking they could do better are probably not doing their best anyway.