01-07-2020, 10:58 AM
11
Re: The effects of a bad childhood
My parents would smack us occasionally. If we were really naughty but we weren’t . If we got into trouble at school we kept schumn about it else we might have got double trouble.On the other hand they weren’t very encouraging either I do t remember any particular joy at my report ( I was a clever clogs ) and always got a good one
My brain cells have been on a downward slide ever since !
01-07-2020, 04:17 PM
13
Re: The effects of a bad childhood
Originally Posted by Artangel
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I think resilience helps to overcome a bad childhood and trying not to look back too much...but maybe, that is easier said than done.It goes back to the argument... are all babies born good, or are some babies born with an evil streak?
I firmly believe that if a child is given love and tenderness, not spoiled rotten mind you, the child will grow up to be a decent, and reasonably happy person. However, if a child is neglected, abused emotionally and/or physically that child will, at minimum, have mental health issues for decades. When in university, I learned that a very high percentage of ultra-violent convicts in prison had extremely abusive childhoods.
01-07-2020, 06:02 PM
14
Re: The effects of a bad childhood
Our childhood was difficult. I left home at 16 . My sister at 15 and one brother at 15 . We never had financial or emotional support. There were 7 of us kids . It was best to leave but we were encouraged to go anyway . Sadly home life wasnt somewhere to return to, so speaking for myself I just got on with it and survived . Our upbringing was harsh from dad . But he had lived in a very harsh boarding school ( workhouse ) from 5 to 15 and beaten badly so he didnt know any different. But although life was harsh for the eldest 4 we turned out all to be decent human beings . I think a lot of fathers were bullies in those past days , but of course I may well be wrong .I believe babies are born pure and innocent . I think development of the brain matters and how they are brought up . If they are born into fear and violence they may grow into that . Also as I mentioned on another thread recently if the brain does not develop properly I.e. the front lobes that's when psychopathic tendencies become normal . Also we have cellular memory so if a baby is hit its cells carry the memory and this can come out much later in life PTSD .
01-07-2020, 06:10 PM
15
Re: The effects of a bad childhood
Originally Posted by bakerman
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IMO, all babies are born sweet and innocent. I never bought into the idea of "the bad seed" concept.I firmly believe that if a child is given love and tenderness, not spoiled rotten mind you, the child will grow up to be a decent, and reasonably happy person. However, if a child is neglected, abused emotionally and/or physically that child will, at minimum, have mental health issues for decades. When in university, I learned that a very high percentage of ultra-violent convicts in prison had extremely abusive childhoods.
It's all very complicated but often I feel sure it's mostly the lack of discipline, from a young age by parents at home, that doesn't help. After all, schools are there to educate and not to teach discipline or good manners, they should already be there if parents are doing what they should be doing.
01-07-2020, 06:18 PM
16
Re: The effects of a bad childhood
Originally Posted by Baz46
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Perhaps a little like with dogs, no bad dogs just bad owners, so no bad children, just bad parenting? Could be I guess but if a child inherits any 'bad' genes, not necessarily from a parent but maybe from a grandparent's side and then has a 'not so good' upbringing, then that may be brought out in the child.It's all very complicated but often I feel sure it's mostly the lack of discipline, from a young age by parents at home, that doesn't help. After all, schools are there to educate and not to teach discipline or good manners, they should already be there if parents are doing what they should be doing.
01-07-2020, 06:29 PM
17
Re: The effects of a bad childhood
Originally Posted by MargaretF
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A bad childhood doesn't always mean that the child/ren of a family are neglected either. When I was teaching in secondary school there was a particular boy who was so disruptive that some teachers could not control him. He was arrogant to the extreme because if his parents were called into school - as they were on a regular basis - they would always side with him and blame the school for his behaviour. Eventually, he was expelled for hitting a teacher with a lump of wood and then imprisoning another in her office because she had confiscated his mobile phone - in the days when mobiles were scarce amongst young people. He was taken in by another school but the behaviour pattern continued. He is now in prison for murder. If only his parents had disciplined him and taught him to respect others things might have turned out quite differently for him.
01-07-2020, 06:31 PM
18
Re: The effects of a bad childhood
Originally Posted by Twink55
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I agree Baz! We learn a lot more about how to behave before we go to school, as small children have a greater learning capacity... and I am talking about good manners & how to survive. The three R's will help you make a living but the best things you learn in life is how to relate to other people... and discipline is an important part of it.
Apparently in Japan the first years infants do no formal lessons just learning good manners , self discipline and perseverance- generally how to get on in society .
01-07-2020, 07:03 PM
19
Re: The effects of a bad childhood
If we look at little James Bulger who was so viciously and deliberately killed by Venebals and Thompson. These kids we 10 or 11 when they did this . They came from dysfunctional backgrounds with lazy parents who didnt look after their kids . They had no boundaries what so ever . I bet no one tucked them into bed with a hug and a kiss . What had gone on in their new born lives? There is discipline and their is violence and fear .I do also think our world is more violent now . Too much in our faces on TV and in the papers daily
01-07-2020, 07:53 PM
20
Re: The effects of a bad childhood
Originally Posted by Muddy
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Apparently in Japan the first years infants do no formal lessons just learning good manners , self discipline and perseverance- generally how to get on in society .
I am sure that works well in Japan, but in this country?
I doubt it. I doubt it very much. Knowing how some parents think and behave, any good work like this done at school would be instantly undone and reversed at the end of the school day.
Realising that the six or seven hours at school is heavily outnumbered by the seventeen or eighteen hours at home, I'd say that we'd be on to a loser here!
Had we taken those steps in, say, the 1950s perhaps it could have been of great benefit here too.
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