What is the strangest 'substitute' you have ever used?

Some 40+ years ago I was living in a twin bed sit with a friend, and for some dumb reason we had invited her parents for Sunday lunch, without fully thinking it through. For instance we only had one of those tiny Belling cookers, and few pans, only two dinner plates etc, oh and only two chairs. Upstairs in a flat lived a guy (whose name has totally gone but who was a good friend ) and we asked if we could borrow the extra dishes, pans cutlery and chairs we needed, and he said rather than cart stuff up and down stairs we could use his kitchen. Brilliant, and all went well until it came to the gravy, plenty of meat juices, plenty of veggie water, NO ruddy flour, not even cornflour! I frantically searched through his cupboards but to no avail. Then right at the back I spotted a box of assorted blancmange sachets, and one was caramel flavour, and what is gravy browning but caramel? So I used the meat juices and the caramel blancmange powder to make a roux, cooked this until it was dark, added the veggie water and an oxo cube and hey voila delicious silky beef gravy, and no-one was any the wiser.

Re: What is the strangest 'substitute' you have ever used?

No embarrassment, like on Only Fools and Horses, when Uncle Albert made coffee to go with the lunch, instead of gravy?!

Re: What is the strangest 'substitute' you have ever used?

I was at my M.I.L house when unexpected visitors turned up it was her brother and his wife , as it was lunch time she decided to do a few sandwiches and she asked me to help her .She was going to give them Salmon sandwiches which she had told them ,but found no tins in the cupboard only Tins of Mackerel,she turned to me and said "i will give them the Mackerel with Vinegar on they wont notice the difference".

Re: What is the strangest 'substitute' you have ever used?

In the early 90's I was living on a remote island in the middle of the Indian Ocean. Every two months or so a tramp steamer from South Africa would arrive with potatoes, eggs, meat and other food stuffs which weren't found on the island. As the supply of potaoes was limited and you normally ran out before the ship arrived again, if you wanted to have chips with a meal, but had run out of spuds, you'd take a trip to the local open air market and buy locally grown yams or green bananas and and use them to make your chips!

Re: What is the strangest 'substitute' you have ever used?

Funnier than that was when Uncle drank Cassandras 'sample' thinking it was apple juice !