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Older git
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08-01-2016, 01:58 PM
1

When to say NO

I am such a soft touch. A friend of mine has a son who owes me £400 and his mum £600 -all vet bills the scrote failed to pay.

He then cleared of to Malta to live. Him and his girlfriend decided to drop in to see mum(staying at her place) for a couple of weeks. Did they pay for anything?...

So yesterday my friend asked if I could lend her £30 to buy food as she was feeding 3. I could not say No. But this is the last time.
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08-01-2016, 02:08 PM
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Re: When to say NO

Theres an old saying ONCE BITTEN TWICE SHY! I have actually lost so called friends over the years lending them money as they avoid you so they don't have to pay it back crazy just over a few quid!!
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08-01-2016, 02:26 PM
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Re: When to say NO

Ive never ever lent money to anyone only because ive never had any spare to be able to do so lol
Ive often lent other items though dvds/books/kitchen equipment but do you think ive ever had any of them back? ........in a word NO....but then I just say to myself dont lend it if you will be disappointed if you dont ever see it again.
As Doc has said too ,Ive had people actually go out of their way to avoid me just in case I ask for my item back I guess...
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08-01-2016, 02:30 PM
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Re: When to say NO

Originally Posted by Aysa ->
Ive often lent other items though dvds/books/kitchen equipment but do you think ive ever had any of them back? ........in a word NO....but then I just say to myself dont lend it if you will be disappointed if you dont ever see it again.
Flanders and Homer come to mind!
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08-01-2016, 02:34 PM
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Re: When to say NO

I'd have said an emphatic no. Why does the family keep cadging off you, OG? How do you know it's going to stop at £30? Is that enough to feed a family of 3 for several weeks?

How are they getting back to Malta? Presumably they've paid their own fares?!

Time to let them fend for themselves. They'll get the money somehow: just not let it be from you.
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08-01-2016, 02:35 PM
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Re: When to say NO

lol JBR...those two characters are hilarious...
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08-01-2016, 02:46 PM
7

Re: When to say NO

Originally Posted by Docholliday ->
Theres an old saying ONCE BITTEN TWICE SHY!
And another I could quote "Neither a lender nor a borrow be"

That is one I try very hard to follow, even if it is family members who are asking.
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08-01-2016, 03:09 PM
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Re: When to say NO

To answer your question, YES you are a soft touch.
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08-01-2016, 03:24 PM
9

Re: When to say NO

You have to learn to say no. If not, others will take advantage of you or you can get into trouble. I will give you an example..

About 20 years ago my older sister did not have credit. She had just gone through a bad divorce and needed a house to stay with her children. She had the money for the down payment, but could not qualify. She asked me if I would apply for the loan and she would pay for the mortgage. The house was for around $100.000. I took the risk to help her knowing if she could not pay for any reason, I had the possibility to pay the mortgage. Thank fully 20 years later. She refinanced the house and got my name out of the mortgage and the property.

So now my niece approaches me wanting to buy a new house for $500.000. She and her husband cannot qualify for the loan, so she asked me if I would guarantee the loan. I refused simply because, I would be on the title for 30 years and the monthly mortgage payment is close to $4000 a month.Alot can happen in30 years and at my age I am not willing to take that risk and peace of mind is very important now for ne.

So she is upset with me today for not helping her out. I think I was wise to stick to my guns.
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08-01-2016, 03:49 PM
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Re: When to say NO

Originally Posted by eyes_of_a_painter ->
You have to learn to say no. If not, others will take advantage of you or you can get into trouble. I will give you an example..

About 20 years ago my older sister did not have credit. She had just gone through a bad divorce and needed a house to stay with her children. She had the money for the down payment, but could not qualify. She asked me if I would apply for the loan and she would pay for the mortgage. The house was for around $100.000. I took the risk to help her knowing if she could not pay for any reason, I had the possibility to pay the mortgage. Thank fully 20 years later. She refinanced the house and got my name out of the mortgage and the property.

So now my niece approaches me wanting to buy a new house for $500.000. She and her husband cannot qualify for the loan, so she asked me if I would guarantee the loan. I refused simply because, I would be on the title for 30 years and the monthly mortgage payment is close to $4000 a month.Alot can happen in30 years and at my age I am not willing to take that risk and peace of mind is very important now for ne.

So she is upset with me today for not helping her out. I think I was wise to stick to my guns.


BIB. And quite right too! That is a lot to take on as you rightly say, at your age.

Who would help you if your own money ran out somewhere down the line? You DO need to consider yourself and your own needs at times.

Over here we have a TV programme called Can't Pay, We'll Take It Away. Recently one case was of where a father stood as guarantor for his daughter. I can't remember the exact figure the bailiffs wanted but on screen the mother was breaking her heart, crying they didn't have that kind of money, while the daughter - over the phone - said it was their problem to sort out. So now the parents felt estranged from their own daughter, simply by trying to help her out, and it all came crashing down round their ears.

So, yes, stick to your guns and say NOOOOOOO!
 
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