Abuse of men by women

I woke up yesterday evening, after falling asleep early, to find this programme on the TV, and it caught my attention enough for me to decide to watch it........


This is the BBC summary of the programme, which is available on iPlayer for 5 weeks:

"Abused By My Girlfriend tells the remarkable story of Alex Skeel, a 23-year-old man from Bedford who survived an abusive relationship with his girlfriend Jordan Worth.

Combining observational filming with personal and police archive, this film provides a raw and uninhibited window into a teenage romance that descended into terrible violence.

Alongside Alex's shocking and thought-provoking testimony, his family and friends also share their stories of seeing him slowly slip away, powerless to stop it, and unaware of how bad it would get.

Bedfordshire Police described Alex's case as one of the most extreme cases of domestic violence they had ever dealt with. In hospital, doctors examined Alex's body and told him that he was just ten days away from death.

In April 2018, Jordan was sentenced to seven and a half years in prison. She became the first female in the UK to be convicted of coercive and controlling behaviour.

By sharing his story, Alex hopes to challenge assumptions about violence and masculinity in relationships, and to empower victims of domestic violence to come forward."


The short summaries you can find on google really do not fully illustrate the enormity of what happened to this young man, or the very, very insidious way his girlfriend infiltrated his mind and reduced him to a completely subservient wreck, physically and mentally, over a period of several years.
(They had two young children, too).

Possibly the most telling accounts came from members of his family, and friends, who had to just watch him slip away from them, which is why I recommend watching the programme and not just reading the summaries.


Alex Skeel is now an advisor for MANKIND, the charity which helps male sufferers of female abuse.
From googling it, it would appear that this charity relies on donations only, to keep going, and is struggling to do so as a result.

The subject of male abuse by controlling women may not be as common as female abuse by men, and for years has been kept hidden due sometimes to shame, but the mind-control that is exerted on these men is no less awful than that perpetrated on women.


I would urge people to watch this programme.

Re: Abuse of men by women

Yes I watched most of it, Pyxell.
10 days from death they said at the hospital didn't they.

We can't imagine it ever happening to us, we think we would deal with it instead of going along with it all like that young man did - but I wonder.

I couldn't understand why he still never spoke out to the authorities, even when he had the opportunity, not until it was almost too late anyway.

I'm sure she would have killed him in the end. His mind and body would have just given up on him.
It wasn't just physical abuse was it, his mind had gone too, it must have done to allow it to happen.

Re: Abuse of men by women

Tell me about it.......

Re: Abuse of men by women

Yes, we would all say, why didn't he just walk away? But the psychological manipulation was so gradual and so insidious that he just didn't realise what was happening.

Plus he was thinking of the child/children as well. Maybe if there hadn't been any children, he might have been able to resist it better, but who knows.

Thank goodness those neighbours didn't just keep themselves to themselves, as I'm sure we'd all be tempted to do at times.

I have had a tiny, weeny bit of experience of psych manipulation..... nothing like as bad as that example, obviously, but I can remember putting up with the (now seen to be) ridiculous accusations and put-downs, which really destroyed my confidence. I was constantly told that things were all my fault, even things that were totally outside my power of influence, but it gets into your head and twists your thought processes.
It was all my imagination, I was told, and no, he hadn't said such-and such, until I began to believe it.

If I hadn't had had a child, I think my perception of what was happening would have been clearer, but who knows?

Anyway, when things started to get a little bit physical...not much but a little.... I knew that I hadn't imagined that! And if I hadn't imagined that, then maybe I hadn't imagined the other stuff either!

So that was the end of that, and I ended the relationship.

This guy wasn't particularly clever, and wasn't as intelligent as I was, but I still got a bit brainwashed!

In hindsight, I would say he felt a bit inferior and had low self-esteem himself, and this was his way of asserting himself.

All that happened over about an 18 month period, but it took me a good two years at least to get my confidence back.

Re: Abuse of men by women

I haven't seen it but 10/10 for using the word enormity correctly.

Re: Abuse of men by women

That sounds a bit patronizing, Ffosse, which is unlike you. Do people usually misuse the word?

Re: Abuse of men by women

There is some debate about the use of the word, but I won't go into it here!

Re: Abuse of men by women

Lol!! Know where you're coming from bud

Re: Abuse of men by women

Have you both had abusive experiences?

No need for details, obviously, as it's private, but it might help lurkers to know that there are men who have experienced something of it.



For any such lurkers, here is the link to the men's charity, Mankind......

https://www.mankind.org.uk

Re: Abuse of men by women

Behave yourselves you two.

Big strong boys like you, happily married for about 90 years!

Floydy could pick his missus up with one hand, and Foxy can run faster than the wind, so take no notice of them, Pyxell.