Well they don't call Yorkshire 'God's Country for Nothing'! Good One JBR

An American photographer on vacation was inside a church in Oldham taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '£10,000 per call'.
The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Manchester... There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Oldham and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 he could talk to God.
'O.K., thank you,' said the American.
He then travelled to Blackburn, Darwen, Burnley, Rochdale and Littleborough. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same '£10,000 per call' sign under it. The American, upon leaving Lancashire decided to travel to Yorkshire to see if Yorkshiremen had the same phone.
He arrived in Todmorden, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '50 pence per call.'
The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. 'Father, I've travelled all over Lancashire and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in Lancashire the price was £10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?'
The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Yorkshire now, son. It's a local call.'

Now that is good example of tediously longand unfunny.

A frog goes into a bank and

approaches the teller. He

can see from her nameplate

that her name is Patricia

Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get

a $30,000 loan to take a

holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in

disbelief and asks his name.

The frog says his name is

Kermit Jagger, his dad is

Mick Jagger, and that it's

okay, he knows the bank

manager.

Patty explains that he will

need to secure the loan with

some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have

this," and produces a tiny

porcelain elephant, about an

inch tall, bright pink and

perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains

that she'll have to consult

with the bank manager and

disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and

says, "There's a frog called

Kermit Jagger out there who

claims to know you and wants

to borrow $30,000, and he

wants to use this as

collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink

elephant. "I mean, what in

the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back

at her and says.

"It's a knickknack, Patty

Whack. Give the frog a loan,

His old man's a Rolling

Stone."

(You're singing it, aren't you?

Yeah, I know you are..)

Never take life too seriously!

Come on now, you grinned, I

know you did!

I'm afraid they do indeed.

It's probably just one reason why Chris Hitchens didn't like people from Yorkshire.

Ten medical students were asked to form a word out of the letters PNEIS to do with the human body.
Five wrote SPINE, the rest were sent home.

Your responses are always so positive and fun Gravitas!