The disabled - part of us or depart from us?

I have worked in the realms of disabilities for most of my working life but for all of that time I have been unable to clarify how our society - let's say European at least - really copes comfortable with disabled people.

We see them all around us and sometimes avoid them! - we know they are there but do we really care?

In the animal kingdom for example disabled members of the tribe are often shunned, neglected or even killed [I am not suggesting we follow this model]

but how embracing are we in our European societies in accepting and regarding the disabled as essentially part of us - not different. What contributions do our societies really make to saying " the disabled are part of us - they should share our every day" and if we believe that then how do when ensure it happens?

Re: The disabled - part of us or depart from us?

I have had a varying disability for a long time now MS. How society treats me depends just how disabled I am at the time. Some of my worse times were when I was blind, people seem to assume if you are blind you can't hear

Re: The disabled - part of us or depart from us?

Dave matey, if you're old enough to remember or are a student of modern history, you will know that Hitler and the Nazis took a particular view of and had a 'policy' to deal with all those within the German society they regarded as eithwer mentally or physically disabled.

As a result of chronic arthritis, I too am now regarded as disabled and my mobility is now severely restricted. On my travels around where I live, subsequent to the onset of my disability, most people treat me with courtesy, so yes I concur that "the disabled are part of us - they should share our every day".

Re: The disabled - part of us or depart from us?

I think our society as a whole, supported by legislation (buildings, workplace, etc.) has made great strides in modern times towards trying to establish inclusivity for all in our society. I think individual education and experience must play an essential part in how we relate and accept people of all abilities

The word "disability" is a cover-all word, I think, which is not really adequate to describe the wide spectrum of ability/disability that individuals may experience or will come across. I think people without any hampering disability are often upset at encountering others with a condition which dramatically affects their lives/appearance/behaviour/well-being/prospects etc. Sometimes, initially, they often don't actually know how to react and it is easier to turn aside and avoid. Others will do the opposite and some over-compensate for a perceived disability in others. We have all seen the person who tries to do everything for someone who is disabled, which is frequetly embarrasing and detrimental to that person. Of course, both these attitudes are faulty, but I can see how it happens.
One thing I have noticed is that children often cope better and are more accepting of someone who has a disability than many adults are. As an example, when my son was in playschool there was a child who, through a birth defect, had no hand, just a stump. My son sat next to this little girl and tried to hold her hand. He was puzzled by the lack of her hand and I could see him thinking about what to do. After a short while he took hold of the part of her arm she had and held that. The little girl was perfectly comfortable with his action and smiled at him. However, her foster carer was not comfortable at all - she was upset by his contact and felt she needed to protect the child - She came across and separaed them, moving her little girl to another seat. Again my son was puzzled and I felt a little angry on his behalf. The adult was wrong, I think, to take this attitude and it was a shame for both the little girl and my son, who thought he had done something wrong.

Re: The disabled - part of us or depart from us?

What a ridiculous thing for that Mother to do - I hope she gave her action more thought down the line....very confusing for the children...

Re: The disabled - part of us or depart from us?

typical example of how the disabled can be made to feel more disabled by the thoughtless actions of others. I must confess I still have trouble getting my head around these new expressions ' physically challenged' - seems to have gone the other way - instead of emphasizing the 'disabled' we know emphasize that some people are being 'more challenged' than others. I can understand why the change has come about as many 'disabled' people don't see themselves having a disability at all - has anyone asked them whats terms they prefer if any?

Re: The disabled - part of us or depart from us?

When I was diagnosed with MS I went to visit my mother (who also has MS and was diagnosed at about the same age I was - 57). She was shocked at my news. I told her I was glad I had her for a role model because she was coping with MS and still living independently (she has since gone into long-term care). She pondered that, and replied "I don't think of myself as being disabled or even as having MS. I just have to do things differently now." Like use a trapeze to sit up in bed, a super pole to position herself, a reacher to move her legs in place, a transfer board to slide across to her wheelchair.

The label 'disabled' implies something broken-down and non-functioning, like a disabled automobile left at the side of the road, waiting for a tow-truck.

What label would I prefer? None, really. My cousin is tired and not up to par these days because she's fighting cancer. We don't label her. I'm tired and challenged in activities of daily living because of damage to the myelin sheaths surrounding nerves in my brain. I don't need a label either. Just patience and understanding.

A bank teller who was chatting away to me a few weeks ago decided to ask if I was using a cane because of an accident. I matter-of-factly said, "No, I've got MS". She yelped "Oh my God!" and looked quite shocked. Her demeanor changed - she suddenly saw me differently and for a moment I thought I should have lied and said yes, "I wrenched my knee on landing my last parachute jump".

Re: The disabled - part of us or depart from us?

very aptly put and point taken - now how do we get rid of the 'disabled' and 'challenged' tags - I suppose it will take time. Yes I agree why labels at all. but a great industry unfortunately is built on them in the medical world and every few years a new DCM and ICD comes out. As humans we seem to need to classify everything but I think this ties us down and actually limits us and we need to be freer - in the first book 'Conversations with God' the point is made that words are always poor symbols for our feelings - and we often use bogus words to hide our feelings.

so we say this is my friend AJ with MS instead of 'this is my friend' full stop.

Re: The disabled - part of us or depart from us?

Well as some of you may know I have epilepsy,Temple Lobe epilepsy although I think they have changed the name now to something diverse people who know nothing about it are embarrassed and some are frightened and the most awful thing to me was I was at a meeting at church one day and I said I had epilepsy and some one said like the man in the bible who had spirits flushed out of him.That is how you are thought of by some people and really all it is is the electricity in the body doesnt escape fully and builds up then sort of explodes and that is the Fit.I had it explained to me by my specialist at MRI.

Re: The disabled - part of us or depart from us?

I think I have always repected the physically disabled person because its tough enough being abled so can appreaciate how tough they must have it . After a year my self of not being able to walk after an accident that respect has doubled. But if Im honest I find it hard to relate to mental disability. Not because of any bias or bad feeling but because I find it hard to relate to them... I have never had the oppertunity to get to know any one... but Id like to think Id treat any one I met with the same respect Id show any person in my life ....
The biggest problem in society today is we are not allowed to treat people who are different in different ways with out being called bias or treated as suspect .... This in its self causes problems. because Im different to most people I know and Id like to be treated as the person I am not as a person of the Norm... So we need to get away from the do gooders who tell us how to think or how to treat people and follow our natural instincts, if a person is weaker in some way they need us to help and have compassion if the person is stronger in some way we need to guide and teach compassion.... At the end of the day if you give love and repect you will recieve it back...thats what it should be all about regardless of who or what you are ....