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Ffosse
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Ffosse is offline
Edinburgh
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10-12-2017, 03:11 PM
101

Re: A very bleak mood...

Ahnedonia - inability to feel pleasure in normally pleasurable activities is what I've got.

It could also be called plain depression; I find that I'm not enjoying anything, have to force myself to eat, the days seem meaningless and the nights torturous with troubled sleep. I'm not going out today for fear of falling in the frost.

I can't see an end to my problem, I'm just muddling through.

My G.P. appointment is on the 18th, I may try and see if I can get one sooner, perhaps get some pills that will help me sleep. Last night was familiar - around 6am 'til 10.
Uncle Joe
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10-12-2017, 03:15 PM
102

Re: A very bleak mood...

Originally Posted by Ffosse ->
Ahnedonia - inability to feel pleasure in normally pleasurable activities is what I've got.

It could also be called plain depression; I find that I'm not enjoying anything, have to force myself to eat, the days seem meaningless and the nights torturous with troubled sleep. I'm not going out today for fear of falling in the frost.

I can't see an end to my problem, I'm just muddling through.

My G.P. appointment is on the 18th, I may try and see if I can get one sooner, perhaps get some pills that will help me sleep. Last night was familiar - around 6am 'til 10.

This page and article is currently on Huffington Post matey.

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015...3D518524109_uk
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Ffosse
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Ffosse is offline
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10-12-2017, 03:23 PM
103

Re: A very bleak mood...

Thanks Joe.
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Ffosse
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Ffosse is offline
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10-12-2017, 04:42 PM
104

Re: A very bleak mood...

It may sound weird, selfish and indicative of my bleak mood, but I almost wish my cancer would return so that I could be hospitalised and taken care off - kind of a break. But these are terrible thoughts, I know, they just keep churning through my mind.
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Ffosse
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Ffosse is offline
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10-12-2017, 04:53 PM
105

Re: A very bleak mood...

I've even thought of pretending to rob a building society (with fake gun) just to get 5 years in jail - I'd be looked after and out of the way. That is my craziest thought yet, I wouldn't do it, couldn't harm anyone else, but life right now is worse than purgatory.

Also, I don't want to put a downer on this thread (but I just have).
Sweetie pie
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10-12-2017, 06:25 PM
106

Re: A very bleak mood...

Dreamy!!!!!
What is going on?
Stop thinking such stuff.
Sorry I have missed some posts.
What can we do to support you?
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Vega
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Europe
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10-12-2017, 06:44 PM
107

Re: A very bleak mood...

Sorry to hear that you are so depressed.
Try to communicate more with people who care, who also need warmth and hope.
I am a good listener.
Cheer up.
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Ffosse
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Ffosse is offline
Edinburgh
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10-12-2017, 06:46 PM
108

Re: A very bleak mood...

Thanks, but I find I can't increasingly cope with people in RL.

On here it's different, but still a forum, I'm not sure what help I need.

Today I cooked fusilli with pesto sauce, tomatoes, red onions and bacon. I could scarcely taste - let alone enjoy - it.

Tomorrow I get some money owed to me and will put it in my account, try to visit the actual bank, and then I have to buy a stamp and post a letter.

But I'm actually thinking darker thoughts all the time now.
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Moyra
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South East Essex
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10-12-2017, 07:01 PM
109

Re: A very bleak mood...

Ffosse, you are not alone there are many of us like you out here, we just have to put a brave face on it. Many nights I have dreamed of hanging myself but thank God for my dog Amber, she keeps me going. Have you thought of getting a pet?
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Ffosse
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Ffosse is offline
Edinburgh
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10-12-2017, 07:04 PM
110

Re: A very bleak mood...

Originally Posted by Moyra ->
Ffosse, you are not alone there are many of us like you out here, we just have to put a brave face on it. Many nights I have dreamed of hanging myself but thank God for my dog Amber, she keeps me going. Have you thought of getting a pet?
Well, I'm glad I'm not alone but am sad that others are suffering, too.

I like dogs and cats but don't want the responsibility of looking after them.

My mind tells me this will pass. But when?
 
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