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Richmond
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23-06-2020, 02:49 PM
1601

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Swannie148 ->
A family was visiting an Indian reservation when they happen upon an old tribesman laying face down in the middle of the road with his ear pressed firmly against the blacktop. The father of the family asked the old tribesman what he was doing.
The tribesman began to speak... "woman, late thirties, three kids, one barking dog in late model, Four door station wagon, traveling at 65 m.p.h."
"That's amazing" exclaimed the father. "You can tell all of that by just listening to the ground"?
"No", said the old tribesman. "They just ran over me five minutes ago!"
LOL -- Not so wise old Indian then!! Pinching this. Thanks for the laughs
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Swannie148
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24-06-2020, 11:17 AM
1602

Re: Let's have a laugh

Glad you are enjoying them Richmond. Like to see yours too.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" Holmes questioned.
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you retard. It tells me that some bastard has stolen our tent!"
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24-06-2020, 08:37 PM
1603

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Swannie148 ->
A family was visiting an Indian reservation when they happen upon an old tribesman laying face down in the middle of the road with his ear pressed firmly against the blacktop. The father of the family asked the old tribesman what he was doing.
The tribesman began to speak... "woman, late thirties, three kids, one barking dog in late model, Four door station wagon, traveling at 65 m.p.h."
"That's amazing" exclaimed the father. "You can tell all of that by just listening to the ground"?
"No", said the old tribesman. "They just ran over me five minutes ago!"
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Primus1
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24-06-2020, 10:12 PM
1604

Re: Let's have a laugh

A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he doesn't want to appear insensitive, he also doesn't want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says: "Wow! That was the best kiss I've ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl..."
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24-06-2020, 11:35 PM
1605

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Primus1 ->
A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he doesn't want to appear insensitive, he also doesn't want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says: "Wow! That was the best kiss I've ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl..."


I must make use of that one.
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Judd
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25-06-2020, 10:30 PM
1606

Re: Let's have a laugh

My neighbour with the big tits has been walking about topless in the garden all day.

Just wish his wife would do the same.
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JBR
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25-06-2020, 11:50 PM
1607

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Judd ->
My neighbour with the big tits has been walking about topless in the garden all day.

Just wish his wife would do the same.


Judd, I hadn't realised that you live next door.
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Richmond
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28-06-2020, 11:03 AM
1608

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by JBR ->


I must make use of that one.
Good One -- pinching it LOL
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Primus1
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28-06-2020, 11:26 AM
1609

Re: Let's have a laugh

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies, "No". Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school." Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" She replies, "No." Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school." After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" His mom says "No." He asks, "Do you know what I think?" His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?" He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
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Richmond
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28-06-2020, 01:54 PM
1610

Re: Let's have a laugh

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