Ghost Ship.
There are reports in all the papers here of a ship infested with 'Cannibalistic Rats' is heading our way, there are enough of them in power here as it is, do we need any more I ask. We have an ex army piper who drinks in the local, maybe he could help out, we don't call him the Pie Eyed Piper for nothing.
"A ghost ship full of cannibalistic rats may be headed towards Irish shorelines. The unmanned 1,600-tonne MV Lyubov Orlova has been drifting in the Atlantic with no crew or tracking beacon for nearly a year.
Originally a cruise-liner designed to take holidaymakers on tours around the Arctic, the Russian-registered cruise ship was cut adrift while being towed from Canada in February 2013.
The 40-year-old cruise liner, which was built in the former Yugoslavia and named after a 1930s Russian actress, was accidentally lost en route to the Dominican Republic after the tow line between the ship and an American-owned tug broke. According to reports, 50km/h winds prevented the crew from reconnecting the ships, and the Orlova was left to drift out into the ocean.
Coastguards, satellite providers and a team of Dutch salvage hunters have spent the last 12 months trying to track down the ship. Maritime law dictates that if you discover a derelict vessel, you are entitled to claim ownership and the owner must pay a release fee. However, despite their best efforts, neither satellite technology nor scuba-diving adventurers have been able to track down the 100-metre long cruise liner, which boasts a restaurant and a gym"