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Azz
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Azz is offline
South Wales, UK
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21-11-2015, 05:20 PM
1

Polite discourse vs hostility and rudeness

Hi All

The Mods and I have been giving this some thought recently, and since Alan has also just started a thread about it I think it's time we shared some of our thoughts.

As many of you know, we have a policy of least obtrusive moderation - meaning we like to treat you all like adults and give you freedom of opinion and expression within reason. Unfortunately this is leading to some problems, as we have those who are only interested in polite discourse, while others seem to enjoy more hostile interactions.

So we've come up with an idea that I would like to get your opinion on. If we go ahead with this, it will just be on trial first.

New member option

Via your control panel, you would be able to say whether you are only interested in polite discourse. The system would then display an icon with your posts (where the current male/female icons show) to signify that you are only interested in polite discourse - both when you engage others and when others engage you.

If anyone then directs a post towards you that is hostile, you can report it and ask for it to be deleted. If a mod thinks it is rude, intending to be insulting or hostile it will be deleted.

These boundaries are set above our normal rules - where we delete posts that are abusive. However the system works both ways too - if you have set yourself for polite discourse only, you should not post in a hostile manner towards anyone else either regardless of whether they have the icon showing or not - if you do, they have the same right to have your post removed.

Your feedback

Well, that's the idea anyway it may not work, it may be more trouble than it's worth, but we are willing to set it up and give it a go if that's what you want.

If you have other ideas that might work feel free to share them too - however, please keep in mind that any measures shouldn't be intrusive or stifling... a balance that is often difficult to get right.
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Honey
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Lancashire
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21-11-2015, 05:32 PM
2

Re: Polite discourse vs hostility and rudeness

I think in dealing with adults here they will make up their own minds which forums interest them and they can ignore those they don't agree with.

If I come across posts that are hostile towards me I can deal with them in a mature manner but if all else fails then I may report them but that would be the last resort

I think mods would do better to focus their attention on all the advertising and spam on the site which I for one report sometimes several times a day
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Cass
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NL
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21-11-2015, 05:36 PM
3

Re: Polite discourse vs hostility and rudeness

Given that even the most innocent post can be turned into all out war by some members maybe a three strike policy with a temporary ban would be a better way to combat deliberate trouble makers...

Even in heated discussions there are points to be made and they can be heated without personal name calling etc. That is called being grown up..
Maybe if there are people who are slighlty less able to control their tempers a time out would be the best way to help them and not by making other people feel they have to back away from some subjects or avoid topics/ members or in some cases leave althogether.
Julie1962
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21-11-2015, 05:48 PM
4

Re: Polite discourse vs hostility and rudeness

Well it depends what is considered hostile, I have been accused of being hostile on occasions when all I have done IMO is disagree with another members opinion. So I think we need, if this is to work a clear idea of what is hostile and what isn't.

Something I think should be stopped is people telling others what they can post and talk about and what they can't because I see right wing posts accepted and discussed whereas when anyone starts an anti conservative or left wing post someone will always come along and say shut up or give it a rest which IMO is very rude.

Long threads with one side saying they are bored or find the other sides posts tiresome is also rude as unless we are only allowed to post one opinion the forum may as well close because all those yes I agrees will quickly lose members.
swimfeeders
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21-11-2015, 06:01 PM
5

Re: Polite discourse vs hostility and rudeness

Hi

It is your site Azz, you must do as you think fit.

I think that this is a great site, however I do appreciate that there can be problems from time to time on any site.

I own a large site, nothing to do with Over 50's, Tropical Fish.

We do have problems on there as well.

The way I operate my site is this.

Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, the third time is Enemy Action.

The first time, the member gets a gentle nudge via a PM from a Mod.

If they ignore it, they get a stronger one from Admin.

The third time, they are out.

I really do not need the problems, and neither do my Mods.

I would fully support any action that you take.

If I was out of order, a PM from a Mod would have the desired effect, I would back off immediately simply because I value the site.
dukeofearl
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south coast uk
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21-11-2015, 06:02 PM
6

Re: Polite discourse vs hostility and rudeness

Leave things as they are rather than ending up like all the other forums.
And in my opinion the rule would be just another stupid rule.

All posts bring a richness to forums as some keep telling us immigration brings diversity . Bet those saying that, are the very ones moaning about diverse posting on this site.

For the record I like ALL types of posting, not just interested in some type of posting and my own voice.
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Rachel
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21-11-2015, 06:03 PM
7

Re: Polite discourse vs hostility and rudeness

Oh GREAT

So if I opt for 'polite' stuff (even though I don't want it)

I will be able to complain AT LENGTH ... burst into tears and

have a major hissy fit when it suits me ..... FANTASTIC ...

luvvit ...

yayyyyyyy
Patsy
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21-11-2015, 06:04 PM
8

Re: Polite discourse vs hostility and rudeness

A simple remedy surely is to report a post that is offensive to you
Personal remarks included
TessA
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21-11-2015, 06:07 PM
9

Re: Polite discourse vs hostility and rudeness

I agree with Cass, there is disagreement and argument which is acceptable, but when it becomes personal or abusive it needs a mod to step in. Anyone who is not adult enough to control their language or resorts to insults and bullying should, in my opinion, be warned and removed if they can't behave civilly.
This forum has always been fair and well moderated and that's the reason many of us stay but, if it turns into a melee it will lose its character and better mannered, valued members.
Yes we are adults, but some don't behave as such.
May
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21-11-2015, 06:11 PM
10

Re: Polite discourse vs hostility and rudeness

Originally Posted by Patsy ->
A simple remedy surely is to report a post that is offensive to you
Personal remarks included
Yes,I agree...I also agree with the three strikes and You're out...Have said so before.
 
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