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Do you ever feel the urge to rescue someone who has lost their way?

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Mups

Chatterbox

Northamptonshire

Joined: Jun 2013

Posts: 46,083

Mups has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more

10-06-2019, 08:50 PM

Re: Do you ever feel the urge to rescue someone who has lost their way?

So have you come to a conclusion Annie - To help, or not to help?

AnnieS

Chatterbox

United Kingdom

Joined: Jan 2017

Posts: 18,420

AnnieS has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more

10-06-2019, 11:03 PM

Re: Do you ever feel the urge to rescue someone who has lost their way?

Originally Posted by Mups ->

So have you come to a conclusion Annie - To help, or not to help?

The decision was made for me in a (sort of) polite get lost. This is someone clearly in meltdown who is building straw walls to pad her ego. I did all I could and at least it was polite this time. I say polite but it was a case of my offer not being good enough (yet more put downs as if I am somehow at fault). So I guess it's time to move on.

AnnieS

Chatterbox

United Kingdom

Joined: Jan 2017

Posts: 18,420

10-06-2019, 11:12 PM

Re: Do you ever feel the urge to rescue someone who has lost their way?

Originally Posted by susan m ->

Annie , remember the thread about the Empath . Empaths absorb the energy of others often unknowingly , we are fixers as we dont like to see pain in others .

I have been a fixer all my life and probably always will be . Its lovely to help others but be aware you may get hurt too . You cant carry someone but you can offer guidance . If they dont take the guidance you may need to walk away and that's ok to do . We only have so much energy to give out dont we

You're so right Susan. I'm going to walk away from this. I can see that she is heading for disaster but it's best we save our energies for those close to us.

AnnieS

Chatterbox

United Kingdom

Joined: Jan 2017

Posts: 18,420

10-06-2019, 11:16 PM

Re: Do you ever feel the urge to rescue someone who has lost their way?

Originally Posted by carol ->

It seems from Annie's post that she's not a friend!

I think we have enough with our own problems & those of friends & family without taking on the problems of people we don't know very well.

I would try to help her to find help from the appropriate quarters and then leave well alone. I certainly wouldn't put up with verbal abuse from this person who isn't even a friend!!

I thought she was a prospective friend Carol. We got on really well and had so much to talk about. I've known her over ten years but not really known her I guess. She presumed an intimacy that doesn't exist and that made me concerned and involved even though I should not be. I've seen people like this before and it has not ended well for them. So I felt upset and wanted to help. But I am stepping back to my safe haven of (relatively!) normal life. Miserably content is as much as one can hope for.

AnnieS

Chatterbox

United Kingdom

Joined: Jan 2017

Posts: 18,420

10-06-2019, 11:21 PM

Re: Do you ever feel the urge to rescue someone who has lost their way?

Originally Posted by The Artful Todger ->

Help is fine if that is a thing that you want to do - but ONLY when it is explicitly asked for.

That's true. But sometimes people who push you away need your help the most. It's a case to judgement to see the difference and to decide whether you want to take on the commitment. In this case I don't feel it would be right, but I guess in terms of your post it could be a case of letting someone jump or talking them down. Would you let them jump?