20-10-2010, 08:27 AM
21
Re: Experience of visiting a Nursing Home?
But why if that's not in the best interests of your mother?Fair enough, you and your siblings don't want to be full-time carers - I can identify with that. I'm no saint.
But if your mother is sufficiently well, why can there not be a solution that best meets her need. That is, semi-independent life with the support of external agencies. A compromise solution is often the best.
Because, an old-folks-home just makes some folk old even quicker than need be.
Where that woman is concerned she won't compromise, she won't have anyone coming into her appartment, we have tried all that and she has rudely booted them all out. We will have to decide what is in her best interests when the time comes. As I have said before her demise would be the greatest relief for everyone including herself, as she is a far from happy individual, which is sad. We have done our level best to do things we think might make her happy but to no avail, she seems to get some satisfaction from being miserable and making those around her miserable too!
My sister who has had surgery for bowel cancer in April, sailed over to visit mother last weekend, (she hasn't been able to fly for years as it affects her balance). Instead of being pleased to see my sister, and asking how she was, mother just moaned about her own physical problems, which are very minor, and other things that she 'enjoys' complaining about, all weekend. When my sister suggested my mother should try to look on the positive side of life, she was extremely rude and hurtful to my poor sister! My mother lives in a pleasant appartment, has no finacial worries, is in relatively good health compared to my aunts and uncles, and in actual fact has very little to complain about, but does so all the time, then wonders why friends have stopped visiting her!
20-10-2010, 09:34 AM
22
Re: Experience of visiting a Nursing Home?
Its sad when someone is difficult and unpleasant Dancingsky, but I believe that there is always a reason behind it somewhere. My mum was so afraid to let anyone into her life (apart from my siser and I) and she was so afraid of losing her independence and this made her a prickly and difficult character - she very often chucked both of us out if she didn't agree with what we were saying or doing. We loved her though and knew she loved us - she was just scared of losing her independence and wanted to do things for her self and remain in charge.From what you say it souds as if your mum is in fair/reasonable health, so perhaps she won't need too much support for along time yet.
20-10-2010, 10:41 AM
23
Re: Experience of visiting a Nursing Home?
Originally Posted by Aerolor
->
Its sad when someone is difficult and unpleasant Dancingsky, but I believe that there is always a reason behind it somewhere. My mum was so afraid to let anyone into her life (apart from my siser and I) and she was so afraid of losing her independence and this made her a prickly and difficult character - she very often chucked both of us out if she didn't agree with what we were saying or doing. We loved her though and knew she loved us - she was just scared of losing her independence and wanted to do things for her self and remain in charge. From what you say it souds as if your mum is in fair/reasonable health, so perhaps she won't need too much support for along time yet.
She will need support because she isn't cleaning her appartment to the standard we deem acceptable, and as it belongs to us we aren't about to let it got to rack and ruin. She can well afford to have a cleaner in daily/weekly, but won't hear of it. She can't be bothered doing regular grocery shopping, and there again can well afford for someone to do it for her, or have the good delivered, but won't and expects my sister who lives on the island to do it for her, which isn't fair. My sister has a high powered job and whilst she looks out for our mother, can't be expected to be at her beck and call, when it isn't necessary.
|
|
