29-07-2014, 01:31 PM
101
Re: Baby Boomers.... and sex
Originally Posted by alice76
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Thank you Patsy. I've been very open, which I am, but just have to give another view of the situation. We never know what's round the corner, and just as well.
Hope your partnership always brings you joy xx
29-07-2014, 01:38 PM
102
Re: Baby Boomers.... and sex
Originally Posted by Patsy
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Well I know this Alice - if I lost Hubby I would not be on the lookout for sex. In fact, I would not want another relationship and that's the honest truth, when a partner passes on, its a big difference to losing a partner through divorce.Hope your partnership always brings you joy xx
29-07-2014, 01:39 PM
103
Re: Baby Boomers.... and sex
Originally Posted by Patsy
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Well I know this Alice - if I lost Hubby I would not be on the lookout for sex. In fact, I would not want another relationship and that's the honest truth, when a partner passes on, its a big difference to losing a partner through divorce.Hope your partnership always brings you joy xx
I was divorced from my 1st husband because he was a womanizer.. BUH BYE... I was widowed from my 2nd..
Being divorced was as traumatizing as being widowed.. trust me... it's just different. People seem to sympathize with the widow more.. you get more support. HOWEVER.. they also expect the widow to wear her widow weeds forever.. and if she should DARE to even look for another partner, she falls out of grace really fast..
You can sit by your computer and type out what you THINK you would do in either situation, but until you actually are living it... you have no clue. I never thought I would look for or find another man after my husband died.. BUT I did.. and I went out and found him.. much to the chagrin of my family and friends.. I may add. I'm not sorry.. I found a great man and a wonderful companion.. Everyone should be as lucky.. So am I a bad girl? Come on... I'm a smart and lucky girl.
29-07-2014, 01:44 PM
104
Re: Baby Boomers.... and sex
If you have been that lucky then it's brilliant, but hardy what the original topic was about, the spread of disease by bed hopping is, I thought what we had started with. And yes I do judge people who do that, I judge them as slightly insane as the risks to body and mind are so great they have to be mad to be doing it.29-07-2014, 01:47 PM
105
Re: Baby Boomers.... and sex
Originally Posted by AudreyII
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OK... I can speak from the ACTUAL experience of both.. NOT what I THINK I would do.I was divorced from my 1st husband because he was a womanizer.. BUH BYE... I was widowed from my 2nd..
Being divorced was as traumatizing as being widowed.. trust me... it's just different. People seem to sympathize with the widow more.. you get more support. HOWEVER.. they also expect the widow to wear her widow weeds forever.. and if she should DARE to even look for another partner, she falls out of grace really fast..
You can sit by your computer and type out what you THINK you would do in either situation, but until you actually are living it... you have no clue. I never thought I would look for or find another man after my husband died.. BUT I did.. and I went out and found him.. much to the chagrin of my family and friends.. I may add. I'm not sorry.. I found a great man and a wonderful companion.. Everyone should be as lucky.. So am I a bad girl? Come on... I'm a smart and lucky girl.
I also think that if you lose your partner and say you won't ever be with anyone else, it does not mean you loved them anymore than other people do with theirs. Surely the beloved person you lost would want you to be happy and not to spend your life grieving? Everyone is entitled to happiness and there are lots of lovely, sincere people in the world who are looking for equally the same person.
Edited.
29-07-2014, 01:48 PM
106
Re: Baby Boomers.... and sex
Audrey - again I am speaking from my point of view and what 'I' would do.I know divorce is agonising but there are so many factors involved in that.
Unlike when a partner you have shared so many years with and a special bond, it just wouldn't cross my mind to look elsewhere - I appreciate there are others that would, I don't have a problem with them seeking another partner - their choice ......
29-07-2014, 01:50 PM
107
Re: Baby Boomers.... and sex
Originally Posted by alice76
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I agree. You might never think you want to meet someone else. You just can't predict how you will feel until you are in that position.I also think that if you lose your partner and say you won't ever be with anyone else, it does not mean you loved them anymore than other people do with theirs. Surely the beloved person you lost would want you to be happy and not to spend your life grieving? Everyone is entitled to happiness and there are lots of lovely, sincere people in the world who are looking for equally the same person.
Edited.
I have no problem with people looking for a partner whether for divorced reasons or losing a partner .......
29-07-2014, 01:52 PM
108
Re: Baby Boomers.... and sex
Originally Posted by Patsy
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I know that Alice - but please don't tell me 'my feelings' gal - I do know, and would just prefer you respect that.I have no problem with people looking for a partner whether for divorced reasons or losing a partner .......
That was also my feeling but know only too well it can change.
You have to be in someone's shoes.
29-07-2014, 01:54 PM
109
Re: Baby Boomers.... and sex
Originally Posted by alice76
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I'm not telling you your feelings. Sorry if you feel that.That was also my feeling but know only too well it can change.
You have to be in someone's shoes.
I don't think you are 'reading' my posts ......
29-07-2014, 01:56 PM
110
Re: Baby Boomers.... and sex
Originally Posted by alice76
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I agree. You might never think you want to meet someone else. You just can't predict how you will feel until you are in that position.I also think that if you lose your partner and say you won't ever be with anyone else, it does not mean you loved them anymore than other people do with theirs. Surely the beloved person you lost would want you to be happy and not to spend your life grieving? Everyone is entitled to happiness and there are lots of lovely, sincere people in the world who are looking for equally the same person.
Edited.
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