Am I being over sensitive ?

All the kids have had a patch work quilt made by me out of their more memorable clothing, patches of christening robes, school uniforms, favourite footie gear etc anything they have really enjoyed gets put into the design. I give them to them when they turn 18 and we've had some lovely birthdays remembering their favourite times.

So knowing it takes me 18 years to make them they have treasured them I thought.

Anyway today wife of eldest said she had thrown out the tatty thing, my husband asked if eldest knew she had done that but seems it was her idea he knows nothing about it yet.

I am feeling a bit angry she could do that because she does know what it is and how much as a family we love these quilts.

But it is his, when I give a present it's no longer mine and it's for him to use or do what he wants with I know.

So am I being over sensitive feeling this annoyed that she would do this ? I don't want to fall out with her over it she's a lovely young woman and I do love her, it's just this stupid situation getting to me at the moment.

So am I being silly over it getting upset ?

What can I do to stop feeling this way ?

I am not used to feeling like this it's taken me by surprise, I guess I will find a way to forgive eventually but it's eluding me at the moment.

Re: Am I being over sensitive ?

Funnily enough a friend of mine has just made such a quilt and I must say it is beautiful , she took forever making it and gave it to her son ( about 30) for Xmas but says to me ‘ I don’t think they liked it ‘ ... and it made me think ...

I’d love it .... but I’m older and understand the meaning and sentiment behind it , not to certain I would have when I was younger so possibly they’ve thrown it away but just as I often look back and wish I’d too kept little things of my parents , kids etc over the years .... too late now but I’m certain when they too have lived a little they will look back and think .... wish we had kept that quilt !

Re: Am I being over sensitive ?

I would be hurt.

Re: Am I being over sensitive ?

That makes me think another perspective thank you.

Yes certainly does hurt.

Re: Am I being over sensitive ?

Julie I can imagine the hours of work that went into making the quilt and the patches it contained were in a way pieces of your memories.

It is normal to feel sad that the quilt was thrown aside with so little thought

I have had similar experiences with my Daughter in Law and just told myself that things once given away are no longer mine to have concerns about.

It hurts, we get over it in time

Re: Am I being over sensitive ?

What a tactless young woman !
She didn't have to tell you that .
Of course you feel hurt .
Really people have no finer feelings at times!

Re: Am I being over sensitive ?

I can understand why you feel so hurt Julie.

I also feel it a ruddy cheek for her to throw out her husband's things without his knowledge or consent too, regardless of what it was.

Re: Am I being over sensitive ?

I do think she was wrong to throw it out without asking her husband, because it was an emotional gift that you gave to him & there may come a time that he thinks about it and just wants to see it again.
Your feelings are understandable Julie!

Re: Am I being over sensitive ?

Julie, l don’t suppose that it happened recently and the bin hasn’t been emptied yet?

Some younger people don’t put as much importance on things as we do. They live in a throwaway society where everything can be replaced.
Not much is cherished or valued any more.

On the other hand, I remember when my kindly mother in law came once to tidy up my house. I couldn’t find any of my things or my husband’s socks.
I looked in the dustbin and she’d binned lots of our stuff. I soon got them out!

Re: Am I being over sensitive ?

Sorry You feel hurt Julie,and yes.She was insensitive..but I wouldn't make an issue of it as the last thing You want is a rift in Your Family..hope all is resolved without that happening,x