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Well this thread is the closest to it that I could find. I would have started my own carpet burnt knees thread, had I had enough personal experience of the injury to feel qualified to discuss it.
When you met a Lady in the Pub Harbal, you should have enquired, "Do you have a Shag Pile".
My behaviour in pubs tends to be a bit more reserved than it is on the internet, Spitty. You can never be sure that you won't be expected to back it up with action in pubs.