Re: Is it any wonder that violence is increasing?

You can bring your child up in the best way you can but once they are out of your hands, it can be a different story.
Once they go to school, they can be mixing with other children who may not have had the good upbringing and discipline you have brought your child up in.
Worst, is when then get to secondary school and are finding their way in the world. They want to be in, with the crowd and the crowd can have a few bad apples who can sway the good child.
I believe the majority of parents do their very best but once the child goes out of the front door, you don’t know what they are up to. They would get laughed at if you tried to chaperone them.

Re: Is it any wonder that violence is increasing?

I think you misunderstand. I don't consider the smack to be a punishment, but where a sharp "No" is not understood the first time, a small slap works better.
Anybody who thinks you can reason with a small child is fooling themselves, because if child sees what it wants and will try to get it, especially if it is not aware that doing so could hurt more.
Personally i believe that a child learns from actions more than words.
Animals react to the tone of your voice but children often don't.
I also feel that if we treat children like precious, fragile gems, they soon learn that a telling off won't hurt.

No mother wants their child to get burned, but one day they could if you spend all your time protecting them rather than teaching them.

Re: Is it any wonder that violence is increasing?

However most conscientious parents know where their 14 years old are late at night .

Hopefully not joyriding in someone's car .

Re: Is it any wonder that violence is increasing?

[QUOTE=AnnieS;1736859]If you wouldn't hit a dog why would you hit a child?
Just as the owner is always to blame for a dog's behaviour, it's ultimately down to parents if a child ends up in a situation that is dangerous enough to worry about.[/QUOTE

Annie, I'm afraid that is a very simplistic view. As much as every parent wishes to be the perfect parent and our children, the perfect children, life just isn't that perfect!
Unless of course, one has the means to have a nanny, au pair, and suchlike from day one to accompany the little cherubs everywhere until they are school age, sent to a private school with the correct discipline, and then into the armed forces where more discipline is dispensed.

Unfortunately, here in the real world, we just have to cope with what society throws at us in the way of danger. Our society holds so many dangers that we can only do our best to protect our little ones, especially the day we leave them at the school gate on their first day at school.
Prior to that, children should be taught the differences of their bad behaviour by the way the parent reacts to them. With my gorillas, they would receive, according to what they had done wrong, either a scolding, a telling off, a threat of their dad, and in the worst situation, a light smack on the bottom. If they received the latter, they knew that I was angry and disappointed in them. Read into that what you may, but they knew. (Same as the animal kingdom Annie, watch a mother with her pups, she will think nothing of growling at them and as a last resort, giving them a quick nip when they misbehave).

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Then, one day, they start at school. We can no longer protect them from anything life throws at them in the way of danger whilst they are out of our sight. They are in the hands of the Teachers to do their best, but even they cannot stop our children being corrupted by other children who have not been taught the same values, who think nothing of swearing, fighting, stealing, getting into all sorts of trouble and danger. Children are easily swayed. They can either go with the flow or take a step back and think about all that they have been taught by we, the parents.

All parents can do is hope that as we taught them right from wrong, when they venture into that world on their own, that part of their brain manages to get through to them the consquence of every action they take, and only because of what parents have instilled in them regarding right from wrong. It either works or it doesn't.

That is all any parent can do and keep doing until they are adults and able to be responsible for their own actions.

Re: Is it any wonder that violence is increasing?

But do they? Muddy.
Some young kids are very artful. They can tell you what they want but it doesn’t mean to say, that’s what they are doing.

Re: Is it any wonder that violence is increasing?

Oh I liked the video . See how the pups immediately reacted to discipline . The poor mother must have been worn out . Lovely dogs

Re: Is it any wonder that violence is increasing?

With respect...don't you ever get bored of ranting and raving about the same old same old....it's getting so ridiculous now.

That I know what you are going to type before you have even typed it...the same old words over and over again.

It's like an obsession.......

Re: Is it any wonder that violence is increasing?

That is true Art but surely that's what's being a parent is all about.
CHildren should be in their homes at night not careering around the streets in stolen cars .

What gets me is the total lack of fear of the consequences.
They simplest couldn't care less because they know there are NO consequences .
They can give two fingers to the police and to judges ( and they do ) and nothing happens.

Re: Is it any wonder that violence is increasing?

SG, This exactly how l see it too.
To me those four or five years before they go to school are the most important.
They should be taught the difference between, Yes and No and Right and Wrong.
They should be taught good manners, to say, Please and Thank You.
They should be taught to share and not to tell lies.
Also, to control their temper!

Re: Is it any wonder that violence is increasing?

THAT I resonate with Art. Many a time one of my gorillas would be caught out lying, either covering for themselves or their friends. Very artful indeed!