More limericks

I realise that we've had a limericks thread before, but I can't find it to add some of my own. I hope no-one minds if I start a new thread. Please feel free to add your own limericks.

Here's one to start us off.

There once was an old man from Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser.
It at last grew so small,
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a college professor!

Re: More limericks

There was a young lady from Taunton
Who had one big...

Err, perhaps not.

Re: More limericks

Go on. I'm broadminded!

Re: More limericks

JBR. The Limerick thread you allude to is here:

https://www.over50sforum.com/showthr...=63979&page=88

Not a thread for complete limericks, just make 'em up as you go along. Each contributor adds a line and when the limerick is completed, starts another one.

Re: More limericks

You might be but the Mods won't be.

Re: More limericks

Thanks Judd, but I've seen that.
I thought I'd start another for complete limericks as I've just found a list of some I used to teach the kids - so no particularly rude ones, though some are quite funny.

If no-one is interested in joining in (I know that the old thread has probably exhausted everyone's ideas), perhaps I could post my own just for interest and, hopefully, enjoyment.

Re: More limericks

I know plenty of limericks but they're all steeped in filth so not suitable for those of a sensitive disposition.

Re: More limericks

The cleanest that I can remember is.

There was an old man from Darjeeling
Who got on the bus going to Ealing
A sign on the door
Said don't spit on the floor
So he laid down and spat on the ceiling

Re: More limericks

That's fairly clean Judd, except for the spit!

Here's one for scientists:

A mosquito was heard to complain,
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
The cause of his sorrow
Was paradichloro-
diphenyltrichloroethane. (DDT)

Re: More limericks

I know a very rude version of that one.