10-01-2010, 09:06 PM
1
Budgie
General...Budgies are cute but strange birds of which there are two categories. The family pet type and the aviary type. When choosing one as a pet it's worth bearing in mind that popular opinion says a male bird makes a much better talker than a female. A welcome trait with men because it helps even up the balance when he's owned by a married couple. For whatever reason most people have male birds.
The training period...
They bite a bit during the rigorous training course that they have to go through when first befriended by a well meaning human. Yanked away from their mothers feathered bosom at the age of six weeks it's no wonder. The dear little thing just hasn't realised how lucky he is yet. Anyway, I expect we'd bite if a giant finger was stuck persistently under the chest and then we were driven mad by a voice telling us how pretty we are over and over again. The first couple of times might be quite flattering but after that it's sure to be a bit wearing.
Temperament...
No two budgies are alike in personality. Some like to be friendly and make the best of life whilst others are always on the attack and have a lust for human blood. The latter usually draws blood from an offered finger but may also take it from the noses and ears of those brave or foolish enough to put their parts within striking distance. The names we give budgies can range from an evil 'Talon' to a sloppy 'Beauty'. It's hard to tell how a bird's personality will develop in the early stages so a 'Talon' type might have been given the name of 'Beauty' or vice versa and nobody can be bothered to rename it later. It's best to treat all budgies with initial caution no matter what it's called.
Let's assume an average type of bird here. That's one which isn't the budgie from hell nor is he heaven sent. For this reason lets give him the arbitrary name of Smudgie. So there we have him 'Smudgie the budgie'.
Smudgie quickly learns that he'd better start faking pleasure and gratitude or he might not get his millet spray and budgie nibble. He soon has you convinced that he actually enjoys putting his head under the bell and knocking the stuffing out of a plastic effigy of himself.
Getting his own back...
He'll exact revenge for his captivity when he can. So long as the mischief he creates is balanced out with the odd cute trick he can get away with murder. Typical 'in cage' subversive activities are:-
* Causing unnecessary expense by destroying the sanded sheet, turning it into a pulpy dropping infested mess around the water pot.
* Seeing how far he can throw seeds across the room.
* Trying to commit suicide by jamming his head between the bars and, with fading vision, joyfully watching you panic.
* Making a dreadful squawking noise while the telly's on and not taking any notice whatsoever of all the threats of death and mutilation.
Launch time...
Once Smudgie tames down a bit, or shall we say resigns himself to his lot in life, the time comes to let him have a fly around the room. The first thing he does is make a bid for freedom by flying at the speed of a bullet into a closed window. The fact he and the glass survive this is a minor miracle. It seems that nature must have made a budgie's head that nice dome shape just so it could be used as a battering ram occasionally (and to fit nicely under the bell). When Smudgie's had enough of being on a learning curve he'll usually bat into the wall, slide down and end up behind the sofa with his wings at all angles. The stars and planets revolving around his head are almost visible.
Damage...
Don't worry he's tougher than Rambo. He will quickly recover and learn how to live in his new environment without further damage ...to himself that is! It won't be long before that sharp beak gets to work on peeling the wallpaper and gnawing the furniture in places where it won't be immediately noticed. He leaves little markers all over the place that will remove the polish from tables and he never seems to get the message by having his nose rubbed in it (as with a dog).
Careful now!...
Once all these teething (or 'beaking') troubles are overcome, or at least come to terms with, a budgie makes an amusing and lovable pet. From then on you must be careful where you sit down, where you walk and how you close the door. If a crunching noise is heard during any of these actions it's likely that you'll end up going to the pet shop to 'perches' another budgie. Then it will be necessary to embark on the training programme all over again. Add to this the difficulty of getting the kids to understand that you just didn't see Smudgie playing on the sofa right where you decided to flop down and you'll wish to heaven that you'd never bought him in the first place. A flat envelope can be used for the burial when accidents of this nature occur.
Never make the mistake of thinking that the love you feel for him is mutual. At the first opportunity Smudgie will seek out that open door or window and fly south towards Portsmouth and warmer climes. Contrary to popular opinion he won't be grateful to fly back to the cage left in the garden. He would, it seems, rather die young whilst enjoying a short spell of freedom. R.I.P Smudgie. Such is the life of the family type bird.
Breeding stock...
You'd think that a more natural and happier environment for a big butch male budgie would be in an aviary with lots of other budgies. After all, many other of it's male contemporaries have been carted off to be lovable pets. The chaps that are left ought to be in for a good time as stud budgies. Not so. Careful examination of the birds reveals that some of them, both male and female, are minus claws.
It's hard to understand but claw munching is favourite method of attack for them. One will sidle up to another bend over and calmly proceed to chew an opponents claw off. Surprisingly the recipient, who may already be numerically challenged in the claw department, just stares blankly at the attacker and merely sidesteps a few paces. What a pathetic response for an intelligent bird! There's no big dust up with feathers flying and the other budgies looking on squawking the budgie equivalent of 'bundle!!'.
Laughing stock...
The wimp bird should realize that if this were to continue it would have nothing to grip the perch with. How ever will it satisfy that awkward itch at the back of the head without claws? As for standing, the best it could do is to plant it's remaining stumps in the soft earth at the bottom of the aviary. Then it would get bombed from a great height by those above who, no doubt, would take great delight in the sport. That would be very demoralising to say the least.
Clearly budgies must get on well enough at most times or the population would diminish but equally clear is the fact that it's a hierarchical rat race in there. A budgie needs to stay on it's toes if it's going to keep them. Surely birds that are bright enough to tow little carts along and propel biscuit tins along by walking inside them ought to be able to come to democratic decisions on behaviour over perching rights etc,.
Just because one male budgie swipes another's bird, or a hen prefers a different fellow (delicately put) that's no reason to resort to this extreme version of foot fetishism. They should talk things over. Budgies are supposed to be good at talking aren't they?
Baldie budgie...
An aviary of budgies nearly always has amongst their number one that is bald almost to the point of being oven ready. The reasons for this are manifold. It could simply have some horrible disease that makes it's feathers fall out. Maybe it's an exhibitionist and likes to parade it's naked body in front of the hen birds in a 'what you see is what you get' sort of attitude. Perhaps it's a 'well 'ard' bovver boy budgie that 'don't wear fevvers no matter what the wevver's like mate'. One thing it can be sure of is that no one will ever choose it as a pet. Possibly it decides on a featherless existence for this very reason. Who can tell what goes on in that funny dome shaped head. We probably don't make much sense to them either and it's likely that they spend hours trying to fathom out our strange antics from their side of the bars.
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