09-03-2021, 11:41 PM
16422
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
The Importance of being a Mountain.Cleaning out the attic today I came across an old bible that used to belong to the wife’s mother.
I’m not very religious but I think the bible is an excellent reference book on the history of some of the oldest parts of the world, we would all be less well informed about those times and places had it not been for the writings contained in the bible. Some great stories there too.
The old testament is far more interesting than the new one in my opinion, packed with adventure and action, disasters, drunken orgies, sex, scandal, human sacrifices, stoning to death and what have you, my kind of read on a wet Sunday afternoon.
Few people ever read it now, pity for it’s a grand read for anyone, believer or non believer (I once went into a bookshop on the quays and asked the new girl assistant for a copy of the new testament, she asked me would I settle for a copy of the old testament instead as she wasn’t sure whether the new one had come out yet).
Seems everyone’s an atheist these days.
I was particularly interested in the behaviour all the prophets/holy men in the old testament.
One thing I noticed was that all the religious men always got their ‘messages’ from the almighty whilst atop a mountain, and any holy man worth his salt had to have his own special mountain to mount, by the way hills don’t count, hence no mention of them in the bible.
Nobody else knew what these holy men got up to once they climbed out of sight, but they had to be careful up there, as the law at the time clearly stated “One cannot keep mountin’ goats and call himself holy”
Mountain climbing was the “in” thing for prophets to do back then, they usually went up alone but the wealthier ones took a staff with them, they normally stayed up there for five to ten days depending on the weather, the amount of special requests they had to cover, and the kind of messages they were to give the unwashed when they descended, although some of the more fitter macho type prophets liked to do the “Mountain Marathon” (sponsored by “Ben’s Great Goat Cheese”) once a year which lasted 40 days and 40 nights.
In order to finance the holy mans mountaineering holidays the multitude donated to have prayers said for special intentions, hoping that the holy man would receive divine intervention to cure Uncle Isaac’s leprosy, brother Simon’s boils or to make barren wives bear them a son, incidentally if you suffered from the palsy you could use “Paypalsy” for quicker results. but in short it boils down to whatever ails you you paid a holy man to go tell it on a mountain.
As you can imagine, with all these holy men around mountains were becoming as scarce as hen’s teeth as more and more holy men claimed their own, huge rows broke out amongst them over mountains and indeed some stubborn old holy lads who would not pass on their mountain to their offspring were physically flung off mountains.
Finally peace was restored when they appointed a minister for mountains who introduced a rent-a- mountain system which worked quite well, yes indeed, holy men and mountains played a huge part in the bible.
Had the Rolling Stones been around at the time they would have had a huge hit singing “Hey you!, get off of my mountain”
Well I suppose living on the 99th floor of an apartment block is almost the same as being on a mountain, that right Mick?.
12-03-2021, 10:31 PM
16423
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Conspiracy theories about the vaccines abound on forums here in my country and I’m sure everywhere else too.On a forum I regularly look into there is an anti vaccine lady who’s nicknamed “Babs No Jabs”.
She has come up with a real beauty this time, she’s usually on her pulpit every Winter about the Flu vaccine and how we’ll all turn into pineapples or melons if we take it every year, but this year she’s in full swing about the coronavirus jab.
Here’s the very much condensed version of her sermon so you’ll get the gist of it.
“They have now discovered a way of making liquid microchips, of course they have not announced this nor do they intend to. They have introduced this new technology into the contents of one of the popular vaccines now being rolled out. Anyone who uses a mobile phone or computer will
automatically connect to the chip and then the chip will gather information about everywhere you go, what you have purchased, who you’ve contacted, what medication you take, what you eat and drink, the current state of your health, financial dealings, and much more. All this information will all be stored in a central base computer. We already know how much information they can get from a simple blood test, well imagine all the data they could gather with a microchip flowing through your veins?. This means that you are actually a prisoner in your own body, but if that’s alright with you go ahead and have the jab”.-Barbara
She also says she got this top secret info from a “Guy in NASA”, he must be one of the little green lads they captured from the crashed spaceship at Roswell back in the 1950’s, he must be pushing on now, I thought they dismantled him years ago.
Liquid microchips? God what next!, I wouldn’t mind having the patent on that invention, a self cooling chip, that would solve the overheating problems once and for all.
There’s a lot more bullshit but you get the general message.
I wish they’d hurry up with my jab, I can’t wait to get it.
I enjoy a bit of fake fun and some conspiracy theories, but I believe they should not be in a serious section of a forum like health, that to me is dangerous because there are some people naive enough to believe this crap, and the more people who are vaccinated the safer everyone will be Worldwide.
I ask myself is she just a foolish woman or a sad lonely attention seeker? who knows, maybe she has a chip on her shoulder.
13-03-2021, 11:23 AM
16424
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
I used to work with a chap who was convinced Prince Hands-behind-his back had Lady Diana killed, despite the fact that the chauffeur was blind drunk and lost control of his car at about 120kph, and the only survivor was the only person wearing a seat belt.As for anti-vaxers, we are still seeing people refusing to let their children get the MMR vaccine because some idiot doctor said it caused Autism. Despite the fact that his rantings were never published in any reputable medical journal such as the Lancet, anywhere in the world, the fact that he was completely discredited, his data samples were skewed, and he was struck off the medical register, people still believe his rubbish, and children die as a result.
Take Measles for example. It can cause blindness in children, it can cause seizures in children, and it can kill children. Even if the idiot's findings had been true, which they most certainly are not, Autism does none of these things.
Liquid microchips is it? I prefer the old fashioned ones made from potatoes. I would have them deep fried in beef dripping if I could, but my local heart failure team won't let me. We have found a brand of oven chips that are surprisingly tasty, and we are having them today!
I've had to reduce my salt/sodium intake as well and I do miss salt on chips. A decent gravy is a good second, otherwise it has to be mayo and tangy brown sauce once the mandatory vinegar has been poured on them.
Actually, yer mad woman isn't that mad in some respects. There was a piece on the telly yesterday about a pill with micro cameras in it that can be swallowed, and it then takes loads of pictures as it passes through the body, saving the patient from having a scope down the throat, or the Alien Mind-Probe up the other end.
They didn't explained though whether the camera transmitted the images, or whether it had to be "retrieved" afterwards.
The main problem with anti-vaxers is that nobody has yet to produce a vaccine that can inoculate people against stupidity, ignorance, or selfishness.
13-03-2021, 10:59 PM
16425
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
You mentioned measles Fruity, whenever I hear that word I always think back to the time my daughter had it, she couldn’t have got it at a worse time, she was two years old then, I was in my early twenties.Firstly the wife had just went into hospital to have our second and last child, there were complications with the pregnancy, something called “Toxaemia” I think, I’m terrible with medical terms, anyway it was a dodgy time.
Secondly I had the assistance of one of the wife’s sisters to take care of the daughter while I went to work, but the child would cling to me as I said goodbye to her in the mornings, she just wouldn’t let go and I hadn’t the heart to leave her.
And lastly we were up to our eyes in work on a big Claddagh ring order for the USA, this was vital to the survival of the small firm of manufacturing jewellers I worked for at that time, talk about when it rains it pours.
The measles minding was solved when my dear mother volunteered to come over to our place and look after the wee girl who was happy enough to be with her Nan.
Thankfully it all ended well, the daughter recovered rapidly, the order was completed in time, the wife came home with the new baby boy, there were no more pregnancies for the wife, and I went out and got fluttered, and why not, God knows I earned it.
Back when I was a boy things like measles, mumps, chicken pox, etc. were not considered serious. Polio, diphtheria and tuberculosis were the real serious cases in the 40’s/50’s.
My Dad had TB for years and I remember us kids in the family had to have a jab called the BCG or something, you had to wait for a few weeks afterwards and then a tiny scab appeared on your arm where you had the needle, if it didn’t show I think you had to have another jab, although it’s all a bit vague to me now.
I remember my Dad telling me that he had trial vaccinations of gold for his treatment, that reminded me of Frank Sinatra in the film “The Man with the Golden Arm”, anyway Dad lived to be 94, rest his kind soul.
“The main problem with anti-vaxers is that nobody has yet to produce a vaccine that can inoculate people against stupidity, ignorance, or selfishness”
Yes indeed Fruity, such a pity science has yet to produce such a vaccine.
Ah, I was right, it was the BCG, I found an old poster on google images, it certainly worked for my family, not one of us five kids ever got TB.
14-03-2021, 10:45 PM
16428
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by spitfire
->
I didn't used to be stupid BTW.
“To discover one’s faults shows intelligence, to admit them shows courage”
********
I won’t half murder a decent pint when I get out, that’s if I get out, no sign of this imprisonment letting up either, nearly three months of it so far with this wave, the poor young folks must be really browned off by now. I haven’t seen me own adult grandsons for a good while now, and when they did call they stayed at the front gate, they were practically raised here so we miss them terrible.
I know if I was young and worked a hard weeks work then couldn’t get out with me mates at the weekend I’d feel frustrated and cheated, not good for their general well being at all, so sad.
Ah well that’s life, no point in moaning about it.
Watching a good film now on Paramount “Papillon”.
I know exactly how you feel Stevie lad.
16-03-2021, 11:13 PM
16430
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by spitfire
->
Whu Flung Dung, someone did!Whu supplied the Fan???/
Anyway what I’m getting at is some of the reviews on various goods, I love reading the translations from all the different countries and they don’t come out the best when the Chinese put them into English, they can often make funny reading.
This one was translated from Spanish to Chinese and then to English, it is just an example from a man in Mexico who bought a yellow polo neck sweater as a surprise for his wife, she wasn’t happy with it because it was way way too small, seems he ordered the wrong size, Chinese sizes are much smaller that most other countries sizes.
You can award up to five stars if you’re happy with the goods.
Man from Mexico:
“I not you no stars for sweater, not even one stinking star, I won’t get it over wifes head”
Chinese Seller:
“You get big size next time for missys big head please, how many centimetres missys big head, get measure and go round head when she sleep for surprise, if head too big no can make sweater to fit, only do normal head.
I only hope yerman’s missus didn’t see that reply, normal head how are yeh, after reading that you’d think he was married to the Elephant Man’s Sister.
I wonder how many of you remember this one. God it’s a very long time since I heard it.
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